


Bards And Bonfires

by FoiblePNoteworthy



Series: Guilt (The Jet Adopts Zuko AU) [7]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Gen, War Child, damnit jet you were doing so well, i wrote this listening to rasputin on repeat, its my jam, okay so now we get back to the angst, okay so remember how jet wants to kill all the firebenders?, theatre nerd!zuko, things are actually happy for like 2 minutes, we finally get back to the actual plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:21:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24312697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoiblePNoteworthy/pseuds/FoiblePNoteworthy
Summary: Zuko-Li and the Freedom Fighters bump into some of Li's old bard friends, including pint-sized firebending student, Tu. What could possibly go wrong?
Relationships: Freedom Fighters & Zuko (Avatar), Jet & Zuko (Avatar), Zuko & Bard OCs
Series: Guilt (The Jet Adopts Zuko AU) [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1557868
Comments: 697
Kudos: 1072
Collections: Finished111





	1. A Safe Place

**Author's Note:**

> ive had this one sitting in my folder since January please just take it

A few more weeks of walking brought them to a sizable town – it was more like a city, really, as it was big enough to support various traveling trades. The group entered the town just as the sky turned pink with the onset of sunset, and were greeted with a faint tune in the air.

Li turned his head towards the sound, focused on making out the tune – was it really what he thought, or was he tricking himself? But no, as they walked further in Li found himself chasing the music; he couldn’t deny the song he heard.

_(Don’t get your hopes up now; they don’t travel this far inland. Someone could have stolen their song.)_

He tried to focus on the bright lanterns, shuttered with dyed rice-paper so that they sent colour across the ground; on the hot food sold from carts, spices so powerful they coated his tongue from a distance. Men hollered, shouting their wares to all passer-by’s; children ran in hoards through the streets, unguarded by their parents. Everywhere he looked, there was some decoration or another. Movement filled his senses.

It was a festival. A big one, at that.

In the distance, some event was set up, with tall metal braziers carrying flames to light up the show. In time with the drumbeat that reverberated through the ground, the fire flared ever so slightly.

A weight lifted from his chest. Just for a moment, he was floating.

It was them.

***

Li was smiling so hard his face almost split open. His head moved on a swivel, taking in all the sights and sounds and smells. All the while, he carried himself unerringly through the crowds, his easy grace taking him past the most cumbersome of obstacles while he focused on a specific destination.

Jet let him take the lead, taking Song’s reins to lead her through the thick crowds when it became evident Li wouldn’t. Jet had realised long ago that Li had been meant for a place far from fighting. He’d eat his swords is that place wasn’t here.

As they neared the centre of town, a few people around them looked twice, catching Li’s eye and calling out pleased welcomes, addressing him as _‘Stranger’_. He returned their greetings with vigour, but didn’t slow or stop.

They entered the main square and were met by a group of bards, half-dancing as they played on their feet, the singers clapping hands with each other and directing those watching them in how to dance. There was a huge area set out for exactly that, clear of tables with the ground stamped flat. Rough stone seats, surely earthbent into place, circled the space, allowing people to watch the proceedings or rest between songs. Li led them to sit halfway down the dance floor, seeming almost surprised to see them still with him.

“Thought we’d just leave you to wander off?” Jet smirked at his half-dazed expression. He took in the ease in Li’s expression, in the slope of his shoulders, in the comfortable smile he offered. The sight of a happy Li had become almost normal, but there was something special about the peace in his expression. It was easy to recognise the boy from the theatre so many weeks ago, in amongst the things he loved.

“I wasn’t paying too much attention,” Li admitted, gesturing with his head towards the bards play at the front. “I know this group.”

Jet grinned. Li had mentioned knowing bards but he hadn’t expected him to be close with any. “You gonna say hi?”

Li raised his sole eyebrow. “Maybe I want to see how long it’ll take them to notice me.”

“You know them well, then?” _Please tell me you had friends before us._

“Well enough. I bumped into them fairly often – whenever my crew made port I would sneak off to see whatever bards were nearby. We ended up going in the same direction more than once, and caught each other more often than not.

“Not to mention,” he added, with a half-smile-half-frown, “One of their younger members owes me a fairly huge favour. I keep trying to convince them to pay me back in letting me pick songs, but they’re catching on to the debt and I don’t know how to get it to go away.”

“So someone you care about with nothing you want to take from them is insisting on paying you back for a debt you don’t feel owed, because all you wanted to do in the first place was help them,” Jet said, dry as bone. “That’s rough, buddy.”

Li gave him a withering look and didn’t respond.

Ahead of them, the dancers parted as the song ended. The sound of rapidly pattering feet was their only warning before something small and green launched itself directly at Li.

He was unseated by the force of a small child. They fell into a pile of elbows and knees, both of them grinning widely. They stayed frozen there on the ground for a moment before Li stood, easily holding the child up under their arms, near eye-level. Bare feet kicked at the air.

“Gotcha,” the kid said. A wide smile showed off pearly white teeth, one missing, bright against their brown skin, which was a few shades darker than Jet’s. The movement scrunched their button nose and chocolate eyes, half-hidden under a chestnut mop. The kid was dressed somewhat strangely, their tunic sleeveless and designed to emphasise their shoulders and musculature, while their skirts flared behind them as they moved - eye-catchingly feminine. They were, as most young kids tend to be, ambiguously gendered, and seemed to dress to confuse. 

(Or perhaps, he thought with a half-glance at Smellerbee, gender was a complex topic for them.)

“You sure did,” Li replied, expression gooey and content and everything Jet wanted to see every day.

The kid pouted, just a little too forcefully to be quite real. “You should have told us you were here.”

“Maybe I just got here,” Li teased. “Besides, I almost didn’t recognise you. You’ve grown so much!”

They beamed, smugness radiating off of every inch of their still dangling body. They wriggled a little and Li put them down. “You have to come see Shui,” they said to his chest. “He’ll play one of your favourites. “

“Shui already knows what I’m going to ask for,” Li said.

“And then you have to dance with me.”

Li’s smile didn’t falter. He let go for a half-second, removing his swords so he could pass them to Jet (not noticing Jet’s incredulous expression), before taking their hand once again. The kid waved absently at Jet, only just noticing him, then dragged Li away to see ‘Shui’.

Jet glanced at his friends, both struggling to hide their own gooey expressions. He didn’t think he wasn’t doing any better.

“Didn’t know he had it in him,” Jet said, watching him interacting with one of the bards, a huge guy – head and shoulders and chest above Li, and built like a Komodo rhino – who held a similarly huge, if indistinct due to distance, instrument. ‘Shui’, presumably.

Within minutes a jig had started up, Li doing a complex dance with the kid, his natural grace put to good use. [The two of them moved in a fluid union that suggested hours of practice together.](https://foiblepnoteworthy.tumblr.com/post/618586187339382784/li-bumps-into-some-old-bard-friends-of-his)

Minutes turned to an hour, maybe two, as the sun dropped over the horizon. The camp was lit only with coloured lanterns and fire held in braziers above.

Li and one of the girls sang a duet, dancing together as they did. Behind his shock at hearing Li sing, having had no idea he could have such a clear and gentle voice, Jet was reminded fiercely of the musical they’d seen before, and he wondered if it was from one. It didn’t sound like a normal song, the details in the lyrics too specific not to have other context.

Jet raised an eyebrow at the loving declarations held within the song, at the looks Li gave the girl, but as soon as they left the stage she was greeted enthusiastically by a different girl, and Li ignored her to go see the kid again.

 _He’s gay, you idiot,_ he reminded himself. _The song just needed a man and woman to work._

The actors in the show from before probably weren’t a couple either. Still, his easy acting with the girl suggested a close familiarity, even if it (obviously) wasn’t as romantic as they had portrayed within their shared song.

Li held the spotlight quite a few times, partnering with several people within the group, and split the rest of his time between the kid and a handful of borrowed instruments - the tsungi horn, most frequently. Jet had never thought that Li would play an instrument, but it now seemed obvious that he would. He was just as skilled with them as he was with his dancing and singing, on par with the professionals ringing him.

If Jet hadn’t known better, he’d have assumed Li had been there the whole time.

Li took to the dance floor again, the kid swinging on his arm and chattering at a mile a minute.

Jet kept his eyes fixed on Li as the music started up again, eager to watch his friend move without caution, but something in his peripherals turned his blood to ice before he could even identify it.

In time with the drums - with the quick stomping band, with the clapping dancers and Jet’s Koh-damned tapping _foot_ ; in perfect rhythm with everyone else in motion, a dozen fires, floating in braziers high above, danced to the music.

***

Sifu wasn’t the most open person.

In fact, he probably lied more often than he told the truth. He’d told Tu about the importance of keeping secrets a hundred times over, so they weren’t too offended, but they still didn’t get why he told these strangers who clearly weren’t even bards (weren’t _their people_ ) his _name_ of all things.

It was easy enough to get back at him with nicknames, especially after they met his other friend, Lei (another bard, as is _proper_ ), who’d had the same issue as them. The name ‘Monobrow’ was her idea, though, admittedly, Tu wasn’t comfortable calling him it, seeing as everyone who did had a scar like his.

(He’d assured them many times that they could, but _still_.)

‘Sifu Monobrow’ was their compromise, because Sifu had been teaching them for _years_ now and they needed a proper nickname to call him. Even if it was one that made fun of his scar.

Maybe that was why he denied being a Firebender? Somehow? He had to have a good reason to pretend after all these years of teaching them how to use theirs, since he’d first found out about them and claimed to have “ _studied the techniques for, uh, tactical purposes_ ”.

It wasn’t like he didn’t care about them. Tu knew that, like they knew he never left them behind because he wanted to, like they knew that he’d have stayed with them – with _all_ of them – years ago if it wasn’t for his ‘mission’ that he didn’t ever expect to complete and didn’t really _want_ to anyway. He’d told them, once, that his father told him he had to do it. He hadn’t looked happy about it, and had never mentioned his father before or since.

Tu didn’t see the value in blood. They knew their father had been a horrible horrible terrible bad _(you’re-going-to-be-just-like-him)_ man, because mother had told them, and they knew that mother hadn’t been all that much better either.

(But they only knew this because Shui had told them when he’d taken them into his group, and because Sifu had told them when they’d mentioned the evils of Firebending, and because everyone else had told them whenever they’d so much as whispered about their mother.

Had anyone ever told Sifu he didn’t _need_ to do what his dad told him, if he thought it was a bad thing? That maybe _he_ was bad if talking about him made Sifu so shaky and protective and pale? Wasn’t _his_ father a bad bad horrible man like theirs, anyway, if Sifu was the same as them?)

Maybe they should tell him they know about his Fire. Maybe he’d stick around more often – stay with them, their whole crew, Shui and Mika and Lei, when she was there; where he _should_ be, instead of with these _strangers._

 _What makes_ them _so special that he wants them more than us?_ they thought, even as they knew that had nothing to do with any of it.

But maybe if he knew he didn’t have to hide something that wasn’t a secret, he would want to stay. They could both practise Firebending, together, and Tu would be able to dance with him every night and feel his inner flame through their joined hands, like coming home (to a people they didn’t belong with, but did at the same time), and he could teach them all sorts of cool tricks, and they could teach him how to love his fire as they do and they would all be happy.

But he wasn’t going to do that. They’d asked him every time they met up, for half-hour Firebending lessons that he’d planned obsessively and perfectly just for them in the weeks in between, and every time they’d asked he’d dodged the question, trying to distract them with some new Firebending trick (that he’d probably been saving for that exact situation, seeing as he always had one ready for them). On the few occasions he’d even acknowledged the question, his excuses had either been flimsy and useless, or flat-out untrue.

Despite his obsessive secret-keeping habits, he was a terrible liar.

(Once, he’d almost answered them - had told them they shouldn’t trust him and they didn’t want him - and _that_ was his worst lie yet.)

None of that would, even for a second, stop Tu from loving him. Nor would anything stop them from asking him to join up every time that saw him. He was their kin. He belonged with them.

***

Across the dance floor, Smellerbee could see Li moving in unison with the kid that had showed up and stolen him, with half glares directed at the rest of them like they had sole rights to Li.

She, admittedly, didn’t have much room to talk. Some hackle had snapped up as soon as she realised that these other people could claim Li, the rest rising as she wondered why they _hadn’t_ yet. It had only taken a few meals and kind words to take Li for themselves before, and he already trusted these people far more than he did the Freedom Fighters, even now.

(Would they try to stake their claim again? Would it be right to let them? Li belonged with the Freedom Fighters, he _belonged with them_ , but he had always been a bard at heart.)

She tried to shrug off the thoughts, only hoping that she would get some satisfactory answer that night. (She rarely got them when it came to Li, but she could always hope that _this time_ it would all make sense in a way that didn’t make her want to rip out her own spine.) Asking questions wouldn’t help, however, so she just forced herself to accept what was and what would be, and watched her friend be happy, spending one night living the life he always should have had.

(He was never meant to be one of them. But then again, none of them would have been who they’d become, had life been just a shade kinder.)

Everyone on the floor was doing the same dance, some with more finesse behind it than others. While the steps seems simple enough – step, step; clap, clap, clap; back to back and clap and clap; spin and spin under the arm ‘til face-to-face, repeat – the ridiculous fast pace of the song, plus the way the dance changed depending on whether it was a verse or the chorus, not to mention the way the dance floor only became more crowded as the dance went on, caused problems all across the floor.

In the centre, with an ease that betrayed years of experience and hours upon hours of practise, Li and the kid spun through the dance, kicking where they should step and deliberately tangling their legs; clapping each other’s hands instead of their own, even doing it at their sides when back to back; spinning two, no, _three times_ as much as they needed to, feet never on the ground for longer than it took to pick them back up again. The two moved in unison through the crowd.

On more than one occasion they bumped in to the others around them, one time almost falling over, and only dusted themselves off with a laugh afterwards. Li never flinched at the unexpected harsh touches.

Smellerbee glanced at the swords he’d left them to look after. He cuddled the damn things when he slept. She’d only seen him without them when he’d been disarmed. Up until now, when he’d dropped them without a second thought.

(Not just his swords, either.)

 _Li didn’t trust them as much as he did these random strangers_.

Smellerbee pushed away the ugly jealousy.

She focused instead on the rise and fall of his chest, the motion so exaggerated by exhaustion that she could see it across the floor, even as he moved faster through the dance. She’d watched him spar with Jet for an hour straight on more than one occasion, and he hadn’t seemed as tired as he let himself be there on the dance floor, even after resting between dances. He didn’t need to pretend to be stronger than he was. No one there was going to take advantage of his weakness.

The dance was exhausting just to watch, and was surely even more exhausting to dance.

Well, if it made _Li_ this happy… She exchanged a glance with Longshot, who stood in reply. She grinned, brushing off any other emotion. They were there to make merry, and that was what she would do.

Jet’s hand shot out as she moved to stand. He wasn’t looking at her, however; wide eyes were fixed above them, a tension to his shoulders that she hadn’t expected to see in the only place Li had ever felt comfortable enough to _shed his swords._

With a sigh of mingling disappointment and frustration, she let herself fall back to the stone bench and looked to Jet. Whatever he was scared of, he was certain enough of it that she couldn’t doubt it. It was just a shame it had to happen _here_ of all places.

“Whatever this is,” she said, already accepting that their evening was ruined, “can we deal with it without alerting Li?”

He looked at her; blinked. “Why-?”

“Just _look_ at him, Jet!” She gestured as broadly as she could without risking Li spotting her.

Jet didn’t bother looking.

(The first challenge with Li was always to make him feel safe. It had taken them months to figure out how to do that, and it was still a challenge.

This place did it without trying. If they could go without destroying that peace…

But they couldn’t.) “There’s a Firebender here,” Jet said, regret etched in every inch of his body. “See the braziers? Fire doesn’t move like that; not without someone telling it to. We have to tell Li – it’s not safe here.” He sounded pained to say it, but he was right. Li was the best informed and equipped to deal with the situation, already seeming to know everybody here. He’d know who was newest, who was the most likely suspect; he’d be able to clear the area for the ensuing fight with a word to the bards.

The song ended. Li was holding the kid above his head in a dramatic lift, everyone around them clapping for the band and the dancing and the sheer joy of it. Li’s panting was visible even at their distance, as was the grin on his face, the calm juxtaposed with giddiness. He was unarmed, exhausted, and surrounded by strangers. He’d never been more at ease.

Jet stood.

***

Tu had shown up one day when he was looking for someone else, the smell of sparklers on their fingertips and flecks of gold in their eyes when the light caught them just right. Li – _no, he’d been Zuko then_ – Zuko had shed the bandages just two months prior, and flinched from sparks.

(His room was always too dark, too cold, at night, without fire on his wicks or in his limbs.

Uncle had suggested, whenever he’d asked, that he take another look at the basics, warm himself back up again, no need for drills right now. Zuko had thrown away his ‘calming tea’ - already too cold and _he couldn’t warm it up_ – and stormed off, only to come back the next day and receive the same advice.

The cycle was exhausting.

He had no other options.)

Tu had held themself tensely, tight control on every limb, with no idea of what they were controlling. It didn’t take much to figure out what was going on.

“The basics of Firebending,” he’d told them without preamble, pausing only to take them away from any prying eyes, “All come from the breath…”

He told them to focus their emotions to focus their fire. With deep breaths and a determined pout, sparks flitted through the air, small and safe and beautiful.

They’d hugged him and watched them float, taking long, calm breaths and watching them flare and fall.

“I’d never seen it like this,” they’d said, tiny face lit with awe and amber pinpricks. “It only ever came out when I was upset. I thought I had to be scared or angry, like all those scary soldiers. I didn’t know happiness could make them instead.”

(That wasn’t what he’d meant.

He didn’t correct them.)

When they’d lit a flame in their palm and called it a heartbeat, he hadn’t flinched.

(He couldn’t trust their control, not yet, but he could trust their intentions. It was enough.)

They’d asked him to dance with them, taught him how in exchange for his lesson, and through their joined palms he’d felt the joy of their inner flame, more honest than any smile could hope to be. The freedom of movement scratched an itch he hadn’t known he had - by nightfall, he was singing with them and their crew.

He’d slept with a candle that night, and returned to open arms the next day.

***

Years passed with this routine of teaching and learning and aching at their separation. More than once he considered quitting his mission and joining them full time, but he’d never worked up the courage to take the first step – he’d never admitted he was actually a firebender himself, let alone his being from the Fire Nation.

He knew, logically, that the group accepted Tu and so would accept him if he claimed to be mixed. But if he committed – if he abandoned all chances at going home - and then they discovered his lineage…

What he had with them had been enough for Zuko, but Li had no chance of going home anyway.

It would have been worth considering, had he not already found himself a group. He was happy with Jet.

***

“Jet,” Li grinned at his friend’s approach, unsure if he could stop even if he wanted to. Tu tugged on his arm impatiently, warm palm grounding him with woozy safety, surely wanting to get onto the next dance. “Enjoying the festivities?”

But, no, there was something wrong with Jet’s posture. Li noticed that he had not only his own swords with him, but Li’s as well. His hand tightened on Tu’s.

Jet smiled with barely visible effort, a master of appearing at ease, and said, “Could we talk for a minute?”

Li could _hear_ Tu pouting. Their hand gripped his a little tighter. He sighed, turning to them. “I’ll be back in a bit, okay, Tu?” Their expression very clearly said that that was _not_ okay, but they went over to Shui regardless, no doubt to request Li’s least favourite songs.

Li pushed down the tension in his chest that rose whenever he had to send them away. Their unique situation always filled him with dread and guilt and every other horrible thing he could convince himself to feel because he was _responsible_ , both as a not- _not_ -leader of the person who had made them this way, and as their Sifu.

(Why did they have to be so small, after all this time?

Why did they repeatedly refuse to learn defensive Firebending? If people are going to try to hurt you for who you are, shouldn’t you at least _be_ that thing?)

The tension was sharpened by the look in Jet’s eye; something was wrong. Were they in danger?

He took the offered swords without thinking, the cold steel feeling wrong in his hands in a way they never had. He’d never held them when surrounded by music and light.

(It wasn’t supposed to happen this way, he was supposed to be _safe_ here.)

Jet waited until they had rejoined the others, back at the edge and out of sight and away from the dancing - where he _should_ be - before speaking, words blunt but tone cautious.

“There’s a Firebender here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos comment subscribe thank you for being here you wonderful fish you
> 
> i am cis so if anyone has stuff to say about Tu being enby form their own experiences (bearing in mind that their gender isn't a focus of the story sorry but ive just got too mjcuh on and also again i am not enby that's not my story so) id love to hear it i wanna do this right that's the point of rep
> 
> some people might notice i edited this chapter and they would be right - a few commenters accidentally misgendered Tu so i added a few extra lines to their introduction/description to point to them being enby.   
> (how do you misgender someone when you literally don't know what they look like/what their sex is? at least i have learned my lesson about assuming the audience can see the enby character)
> 
> on that note i mostly pointed to their clothes (which I drew [Here](https://foiblepnoteworthy.tumblr.com/post/618771080227733504/foiblepnoteworthy-li-bumps-into-some-old-bard)) but also like i don't know enough about non western clothing so if anyone has advice o how to make that any better I'd appreciate it.


	2. Hatchling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Sometimes,” Sifu said with his serious face, “a person will be a good person, and can be a very good friend, and someone you care about a lot, and someone who cares about you a lot…
> 
> “But they will still kill you if they find out what you are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> forgot to say before (heckin' sorry about that) this chapter and the one before it were beta-ed by h-faith-marr! ta muchly!
> 
> i love how everyone on the last chapter was sad cuz they forget how much jet wants to kill all the firebenders, as if that wasn't the /central conflict of this series/. i am so glad my fluff made you all forget about the part where this one guy really wants the other one dead, even as i pointed it out the entire time
> 
> Also, guys! I've written over 100K words of fanfic now! That's insane! Woo hoo!

_“There’s a Firebender here.”_

The words seemed to echo for a moment. Li hadn’t known it was possible to be sick with relief and worry both at the same time. His knees failed him.

He landed on the benches at the side, hand coming up to his mouth, unsure if the burning in his throat was protective fire or bitter bile. _(Breathe.)_ He focused on the air in his chest, closed his eyes and extended his senses. He felt the flames of the braziers; felt Tu’s inner fire where it sat in their chest. His hands smelled like sparklers, small and bright and playful and safe, under their usual spicy campfire scent. 

_“Li? Li, I know this is rough for you but_ _you're the expert on this place_ _,”_ Jet’s voice seemed to come from far away, but filtered in clearly enough. Li dragged in another breath. _“We need you to help us out here. Can you_ talk to your friends, find out who’s new?”

Could he explain? Would Jet listen? Did he have any chance of stopping him from tearing the whole camp open and exposing Tu?

A hundred miles away in front of them, the dancers spun; the crashing music pounded in his head. What was the song? Did he know this one? Maybe it was new…

“Li. I’m really sorry that this is happening, but I _need_ you to snap out of this.” Jet shook his shoulder gently, well aware of the dangers of a startled Li.

“No, you don’t,” he said, tongue thick and heavy in his mouth. He had too many teeth. He didn’t know what he was saying but hoped against all odds that he could convince Jet to just let this one go. “We can… we can leave this alone. No need to do anything.”

Jet’s hand tightened momentarily, before he let go. “Li, we can’t leave these people in danger.”

“Jet, I’m asking you to trust me and let this go.” _Please, just stop._

Jet sat next to him, pushing himself into his space, and pulled his hands away from his mouth to make him look him in the eye. “Li, this could be some Fire nation spy, someone who could hurt one of these people, who _you_ care about,” ( _they’re just a kid, just let them go, Jet,_ please _, they didn’t do anything_ ) “we can’t just let them _live.”_

For a horrible second, Li fought the urge to strike Jet. A deep breath prepared the flames behind his teeth. He tugged his hands out of Jet’s gentle grip, one landing on his sword hilts.

The second held, crystalline and ready, then snapped.

Faded.

Curled into fists, the fires lit under his palms went out immediately. Cold seeped into his limbs, which shook with anger, energy, wanting to fight and lacking an outlet. He didn’t dare breathe, wasn’t sure he _could_ , feeling the banking flames in his stomach.

Or maybe he was sick, that was equally likely.

“ _Maybe_ ,” he hissed - a dragon’s roar, his heartbeat, rushing in his ears; his vision red, “Maybe this is just an unlucky half-blood trying to make the best of a bad situation.”

“You can’t really think-” and would he listen to him just this once, would he just _leave this alone._

“Jet,” he said, and he stopped. There wasn’t enough air in his lungs. They burned with fire and a hollow ache. He dragged a breath in through his nose – not too much, though, so the fire wouldn’t build again. It wasn’t enough, but it was enough for the minute.

 _(Jet can’t let_ any _Firebender live. It doesn’t matter what you say or do. You think you’re safe here but you’re not.)_

He felt absurdly like one of those fruits emptied out and carved into faces, filled with candles; scooped hollow, fire set behind forced expressions, licking his teeth, burning his throat. His eyes were oddly damp.

He pushed the words out and dragged the flames in. _(Where were they coming from when there was no air to feed them?)_ “I’m asking you _nicely_ , and I’ll only do it once, to leave this alone. I don’t want us to fight over this.” He was hoarse.

He placed his hands over Jet’s, grip tighter than it needed to be, but couldn’t make himself meet his eyes _. (Not with the black spots hovering at the edges of his vision.)_

_“Leave it.”_

An old, thought forgotten, panic rose in his chest – he _needed_ these people and they would _hurt_ him for being rude and he would deserve it but he was so _tired_ of pain; and they were his new _family,_ he _had_ to be nice to them-

But he pushed it down. He had to be stronger than that right now.

(His shoulders shook.)

The red tinge faded from his vision, replaced with rapidly darkening edges and a blurry film. He angled his head down to hide his face. _He didn’t want to do this._

“You-” Smellerbee spoke, breaking the silence, uncertainty ringing in her tone, “You’re certain they’re safe, even with this Firebender? Without a doubt in your mind, you’d bet anything on it, these people will be fine if we do nothing?”

Maybe she’d listen, at least. Maybe this could be okay.

“Entirely.” He dragged in another breath, easier than last time. “No one’s in any danger.” He raised his gaze to meet hers. “I swear it on my honour and my mother and my life.”

“Okay then,” she said, slightly breathy with relief and confusion.

Jet didn’t speak, which was a blessing and a curse in one. Li said nothing, not wanting to push him into saying something he didn’t want to hear. He pulled himself from Li’s grip and moved to sit down elsewhere, leaving Smellerbee and Longshot between them.

Li focused on his breaths. It was harder to fix them without someone holding him.

They sat in silence until Tu came over to take Li back again. Li tried to hide how his hands trembled, seeing them within inches of Jet but in front of him, where Jet could hurt them and he could protect them. They were safe and whole and alive. For now.

Instead of dancing, he picked them up and carried them into one of the troupe’s tents - Shui’s, he thought – hidden away and safe. Their heart beat steadily against his chest.

He breathed. Safe from the others, he let a puff of flame out from between his teeth.

(How long had it been since he’d let the flames out?)

He felt a thrum of inner flame against his chest. Relished in the feeling of his people. Kin. Home.

***

Li had disappeared into the bards’ tent village behind the dance floor, holding the kid to his chest like they might disappear if he let them go. He wasn’t angry anymore - it was worse than that.

He was scared.

But he wasn’t scared on behalf of the people he cared about, not for the safety of the kid in his arms; nor was he scared of the Firebender who could jump out of any shadow and take the rest of his face.

He was scared _of them._

There was an edge to his movements that had disappeared in the weeks since he’d joined them. Jet could still see, clearly in his mind’s eye, how Li used to shake whenever he thought he’d displeased them. He saw the same tremors in his hands that night.

Li hadn’t been breathing when he’d begged Jet to let it go. Not enough, anyway.

(Jet hadn’t helped him.)

He just couldn’t get over it. Li was scared. Deathly scared. Of them. _On behalf of a Firebender._

(The same kind of scum that had marked him for life; the monsters that chased him across the Earth Kingdom and kept him up at night. One of them had gotten into his head; had convinced him he was an ally, a friend, an _innocent_ – as if the Fire Nation knew the meaning of the word.

As if they knew anything except treachery and destruction.)

It had been almost a month since Li had last flinched at their touch, at his actions, at his words; since Li had worried they’d hurt him for doing something they didn’t like. Most days they saw the turtleduck Li, the one that pressed himself into their hugs and told them stories about his life, the one that had spent the night unarmed and dancing. He still had a ways to go, with those secrets around his neck like a noose, but he felt _safe_ around them.

He’d been doing so much better.

He’d been _shaking._

It just. None of it made any sense. Li hated the Fire Nation; hated Firebenders. He had to, it was painted across his face, what they’d done to him. Jet could only guess the extent of their crimes against him, personally.

Not to mention how protective he was of everybody. How silent he was whenever they discussed those ashmakers. How he took every emotion and curled it up in his chest and didn’t talk about it.

He hadn’t said a word about the Fire Nation.

Jet froze at the realisation.

He’d never talked about the Fire Nation.

Never. Not a word. Ever.

_(He hadn’t said a word about the Fire Nation.)_

That was. _(How had Jet never noticed it before?)_ That couldn’t be right.

Li had talked a _lot_ in the weeks since they’d finally broken the ice. Ever since Jet had promised that he could lie about his life if he needed to, so that he could work through his experiences with them, he’d had stories upon stories for them – kicked out and thinking he’d deserved it, his family’s criminal exploits and his hand in them, his mother disappearing and not taking him with her.

How he was only now realising how much was wrong about that.

He’d never managed to talk about his father in a serious tone – always disguising it under jokes and refusing to go into detail. He’d never managed to choke out more than a few indecipherable words about the things he did (though the word _‘father’_ was the most common explanation for the pink lines on his back, his sides; the finger-print marks on his shoulder), but, when the moment was right and his resolve was strong, he’d _tried._

Once, he’d touched his scar and moved to talk. He’d thrown up instead.

He hadn’t tried again.

As soon as the means had become available, Li had told them everything he could stomach – quite literally – about himself. He was awkward, and a terrible storyteller, and half the details were missing, but every other evening he would start a story with, “Uncle never did this, but,” or “I’d expected you guys to do that,” or “My sister was trying to kill my turtleducks when…”.

_(“Everything was on fire and it was my fault…”)_

_(“There were bodies as far as the eye could see. They didn’t actually look injured, most of them. But they were waterlogged. Starting to rot. Some of them I’d recognised. I’d worked with them for three years._

_They had no one to give them their last rites. I tried, but the water was running out and my voice was gone and there were just too many of them…”)_

_(“He was a kid and he was scared of me. He’d told me it would be honourable…”)_

It had been weeks and he hadn’t run out. Most of the time he saw it as story time, as a way to pass the evening, and didn’t know that statements like “I saw the herbs he was putting in the tea and I knew what he was planning,” and “Yeah, I was still on the boat when it blew up,” were enough to give anybody a heart attack.

(Why did Uncle want Li to be civil with Admiral Sideburns again? Hadn’t he been their competition anyway? Half of Li’s stories made Jet doubt the old tea man (while the rest only made him more desperate to meet him). If he hadn’t seen Li’s exhausting propensity for trouble first-hand…)

Li had told them a half-true heavily redacted version of his life story, forcing himself through the most painful aspects his body would allow. Only the very worst parts were kept secret, and he kept trying to let them out.

_So._

Li was wanted by the Fire Nation. That bounty would set anyone up for life. Which meant that Li had done something huge to piss them off. (Possibly Blue Spirit related - and probably connected to his family in ways Jet wouldn’t let himself dwell on - but those Rhino guys had been looking for _Li_ , not the Blue Spirit.)

_And._

He wasn’t afraid to tell them his life story.

_But._

He’d never told them what he’d done to piss them off. Not a single word about the Fire Nation.

He had to hate them, being who he was - having done whatever he’d done to piss them off so much.

Just looking at Li made his blood boil with hatred for the Fire Nation, and he wasn’t the one disfigured.

But. They had no evidence that Li actually hated them, even though they really should have it by now.

Nothing made sense.

***

Smellerbee was close to drowning in the tension. She forced herself to keep her head - as long as Li was panicking for one reason and Jet was panicking for the exact opposite, she had to sit there and watch them and keep them from doing something that they’d regret.

Longshot nudged her with his knee, a reminder that he was there to mitigate as well, and she returned the nudge gratefully.

She glanced at Jet, who still looked mid-crisis, but not violent, at least.

She wasn’t sure how she felt about the idea of protecting a Firebender, but seeing as they were almost definitely Li’s kid - judging by Li’s vehement protection and the way he’d clutched at them later, at least - the moral and logical sides of this debate were already sorted.

That was a child. An _earth_ child. What had Li said? _“An unlucky half-blood.”_ It wasn’t the kid’s fault.

As much as the thought of leaving a Firebender alive – one who, considering the travelling nature of their career, had access to numerous populations - made something in her queasy, she knew she’d have to make the exception. Just this once.

Hidden from Jet’s sight by his knee, Longshot made a simple sign. _“The kid?”_

She nodded.

He looked grave. _“We can’t tell Jet.”_

She nodded again.

***

Sifu was super upset in a way Tu had never seen before. He was really huggy (which was _awesome_ ) but it was only because he was sad and scared and wasn’t that just like him?

They were perfectly happy to play teddy-platypus-bear for him for the moment (being curled up on the comfy chairs in Shui’s tent was always _really nice_ ), but maybe if they talked they could make everything better? They’d always been good at making Sifu smile.

They twisted in his arms so they could see his face, and carefully wiped under his good eye with just their fingertips, just like he’d done with them whenever they’d been sad. What else did he do?

They gently petted his hair, enjoying the fuzzy texture. He held them loosely around the waist.

“I always feel better when you make me talk about things,” they told him, with a Look with a capital letter, because that’s what grown-ups always do at times like this.

He gave them a small smile, but it didn’t look right. “I don’t think you need to hear about my problems.”

“You’re always here for mine.” _His hair is so soft, how does he manage that?_

For a moment he looked like he was about to say _no_ again, but then his face froze. He stared right at them and looked like he was thinking really hard.

“Sometimes,” he said with his serious face, “a person will be a good person, and can be a very good friend, and someone you care about a lot, and someone who cares about you a lot…” he ran a hand through their hair, eyes firmly on theirs.

“But they will still kill you if they find out what you are.”

Tu’s hand froze in his hair. _That’s not. That can’t be right._

“But if they’re my friend-”

“A friend you’ve been lying to about something really important,” he said, his voice hard and scary in a way they’d never heard before, “Why should they trust you at all?”

“But _you_ said I have to keep it a secret!” They almost smacked him with their gesturing hand.

“And you do.” His hands held on tight to their bright tunic. He pulled them in closer and they were too close, but they couldn’t look away. “Listen to me, Tu, you _have_ to keep it a secret at all costs.”

 _You’ve told me that a hundred times already._ They resisted the urge to roll their eyes. _Plus…_

“You just said my friends will hate me for lying!”

He lowered his head and wouldn’t look at them. “I know.”

 _Was he really not going to explain anything properly?_ “So what do you want me to do?” they asked, louder than they’d meant to.

Quieter, they asked, “How do I stop my friends from hurting me?”

He pulled them back into a harsh hug, squeezing them too tight around their chest. They sat awkwardly in his lap as he sat his head on theirs and left it there.

“Sometimes,” he whispered to their hair. “Sometimes you can’t. Sometimes the best people you will ever meet will still kill you if they find out.”

He pulled back and looked them straight in the face, one hand coming up to their cheek, thumb rubbing it gently, squishing the baby fat still stuck there.

“You were so, _so_ lucky,” he said, voice wet and sad and sore sounding, while he pretended to smile, “And you will never know how thankful I am that you found this place, that I found you, that you’re _safe_ here.”

His hand brushed up to their hairline, revealing the small pink mark their mother had left last time they’d seen her, before they woke up without expecting to ever again and ran and ran and ran til Shui had found them.

“You can love people,” Sifu said, staring at their scar. They looked at his in return. “You can love them with everything you have. But that doesn’t mean that they’ll love all of you.”

He sniffed. “It doesn’t mean they won’t hurt you, for not being what they want you to be.”

A tear slid down his cheek. It fell onto their tunic, where it darkened the fabric.

“I’m sorry, Tu,” he gripped their arms tightly, voice low and deep and sore and empty, cracking on their name, “but you’re never going to be completely safe.”

He was crying worse than before.

They hugged him again, pressed close to his chest, squeezing so tight that their hands nearly met his sides on the other side.

Sifu shook in their arms, and clutched them just as tightly.

[Doodles for this chapter](https://foiblepnoteworthy.tumblr.com/image/619675229256597505)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos comment subscribe bookmark  
> (remember that i can't tell if you're subscribed to the series but basically any other show of support is visible to me :) )
> 
> (hello my beautiful darling regulars i see you and i love you how are you today?)
> 
> (quick sidenote - remember how Zuko was close to his crew in this au? smug points go to whoever realises why im pointing this out first <3)
> 
> Next Chapter will also not be a resolution but it will have more bards getting involved in the conflict and your good old fashioned Classic-Style Jet (paranoia free with purchase).
> 
> here is my Tumblr, wherein i do drawings of this series and other stuff, and where you can yell at me if the urge strikes you: https://foiblepnoteworthy.tumblr.com/
> 
> ***  
> im about to talk about my writing schedule in more detail than anyone cares but if you wanna know here it is:
> 
> okay so you might have noticed the chapter count going up from 2 to 4 and now its at 5. i promise this isnt a repeat of the unwanted friends incident *stares off into the middle distance*  
> i decided to combine bards and bonfires with the old part 8 (which is now chapters 3, 4, and 5 of this) because it just made more sense to keep them all together. also because then i don't have to come up with a title for part 8 and titles are /hard/
> 
> speaking of the unwanted friends incident i was meant to use the time i spent making that on making this so i only have 2 prewritten chapters left at this point. on top of this i might have a job now?? so while i do hope to keep to this biweekly update schedule, you'll have to bear with me if i decide i need to update the non-evil twin and delay this a little.
> 
> you'd do best to just assume I'll update /something/ every ten days or so but it might not be this series anymore
> 
> (also im sorry but i want to have all parts of bards and bonfires finished before i put up chapter 3 and im hoping it won;t be delayed but i have emotional scenes to write so we'll see how this goes. I'll shout about it on my tublr if there's gonna be any problems)


	3. Who Said That Love Would Be Fair?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so yes this is a day late but i do have a reason but it'll be in the bottom notes because its a whole thing
> 
> hugs for anyone who spots my v obvious (accidental because art is theft but also i remember things and think i made them up oops) john mulaney reference.

[Shui](https://foiblepnoteworthy.tumblr.com/post/621207983930671104/bards-and-bonfires-chapter-3-foiblepnoteworthy) was not old. Thirty-five was not old. But he did feel increasingly so whenever he watched his kids dealing with their new drama.

He hadn’t expected to have kids, and didn’t know if what he _did_ have really counted. He knew that Tu looked at him more like a big brother (even though he had practically _raised_ them)[1]; most of the young people in his troupe looked after each other, and were pretty stable to begin with; and he knew that Stranger would deny holding any affection for or taking counsel from him until the day he died.

(That was fine. His responsibilities always felt easier to handle when he could pretend they were his choice and not an accidental obligation.)

Tu had been tricky when they first came to him; a runaway with plenty of surface issues to sort through, undercut with a crippling fear of their own bending and of people knowing about it. It had been months before Shui even realised that Tu was a Firebender (and what a night _that_ was; it had taken everything he’d learned about the kid to keep them from disappearing into the night forever), and even after he’d managed to convince them that he would never hurt them, there was nothing he could do to help them to understand their bending.

Then Stranger showed up and fixed everything, and Shui adopted him on the spot.

Stranger was a difficult kid to deal with, even after knowing him for years – even just because he was more than a little skittish when dealing with anyone taller than him. (Shui, standing two heads taller than most grown men, and half again as wide, found helping Stranger feel safe around him to be a long and delicate process.)

This skittishness was especially problematic because his fear of adults-looking-after-him did not extend into a general-fear-of-danger, which made it incredibly difficult to keep him from doing stupid things.

Stranger was not Shui’s responsibility. He didn’t even know his _name_ (nobody knew his name), and wasn’t on casual enough terms with him to give him any sort of nickname. Stranger barely ever spoke to him, and mostly did so out of their mutual obligation to Tu, or for reasons related to work. They were polite to each other, and they worked well together, but that was all.

His point was that they weren’t _friends_. He didn’t know anything about him as a person, outside of his ridiculous ability to get into trouble and his undying love of anything theatrical. That didn’t mean that he didn’t see this kid and know he needed help and try to give him whatever he needed so that he felt safe and loved and happy.

It had taken time, but Shui liked to think that he’d helped the kid get that, if only by providing him with an environment to grow in.

Shui wouldn’t take credit for his growth but he did take pride, and he took care to make sure that he could do it again and again, without anything startling him back into his shell.

When they first met he’d skirted ‘round the edges of the stage, watching the proceedings with a hand on his swords, nowadays Stranger didn’t think twice about plunging into a crowd of strangers, deliberately unarmed, so that he could do something he openly enjoyed.

Last night he’d dropped out of the dance floor and ignored the rest of the shows.

Shui needed to know why.

When Stranger had entered with several friends, his arrival an unexpected delight as always, his eyes were bright and shining. Shui had been pleased - he was interacting with people his own age and forming lasting bonds through regular interaction. That was something he had needed, but hadn’t had access to, over the last three years.

Stranger had had some sort of argument with his friends, before he disappeared into Shui’s tent with Tu. Shui hadn’t seen this himself, but his friends who had seen it reported that Stranger looked distressed.

It was Shui’s responsibility to keep the shows running smoothly – any issues with that, and none of them ate – and so couldn’t risk leaving his post to check in on them.

When the shows eventually finished and Shui was free to retire for the night, he found the pair curled up in one of his comfy chairs, both fast asleep.

Stranger had settled his head atop Tu’s; his arms were wrapped around them tightly. They both breathed tiny sparks, lighting their relaxed expressions for half-seconds, as they always seemed to do when they slept cuddled in together. Something settled into place in his chest at the sight of them.

Then twisted again at the sight of dried tear tracks on Stranger’s face.

Shui swallowed, picked the pair up and settled them in his bed – he could find somewhere else to sleep for the night – and went outside to give an order: Stranger’s friends aren’t to know where he is unless he goes to them himself.

***

Li and Tu woke at the same instant. Tu was up and out of bed before Li had even opened his eyes, dragging him out of bed with all the strength their ten-year-old body contained, chattering excitedly about mediation.

Li swatted them away and sat up, taking a moment to feel the position of the sun; to enjoy the feel of a new day.

They tugged on his arm again and he grinned at their excitement; the two of them had never meditated with a sunrise together before.

The thought of meditating in a pair brought up a memory that Li struggled to push aside. He didn’t need to think about him again. He’d worked through those feelings the night before, made as much peace with Jet’s desire to kill him as he could.

It wasn’t that Jet didn’t love him, he reminded himself, it was just that he hated him too.

(And he didn’t even know about that so there was no point in dwelling on it.)

And he _had_ let it go when he’d asked him to… eventually. But he _did_ , and Li knew he wouldn’t have when they’d first met. _Spirits_ , he’d probably have killed Li too, for covering for them.

It was progress; and Li had to take what he could get. Maybe one day he could tell him more.

 _(Don’t be a fool,_ he told himself. _Remember what you told Tu last night? They will_ kill _you if they know who you are; and nothing you do can change that.)_

He shook the thoughts away like wasp-flies, took Tu’s smaller hand in his own, and let them guide him through the camp. He took his swords with him.

“Sifu?” Tu whispered in the early morning silence.

He squeezed their hand in acknowledgement and gave them a smile.

“I know you’re not going to be around for all that long.” Li’s heart clenched at their tone, and their brutal accuracy. “So can we have a lesson after meditation? I’ve been practising really hard.”

“But safely?”

“No one that isn’t meant to know knows,” they promised, tone uncharacteristically solemn as it always was when discussing their secret, even as they held up their hands in a universal _‘pick me up_ ’ gesture.

“We can have a lesson-” Li hefted them onto his shoulders easily, “-as long as you promise to be careful.”

“Can you show me some?”

He stopped in his tracks, hands gripping their legs a little too tightly. “Tu, I’m not a-”

“But you _are_ though.”

“I’m not, Tu,” he forced himself to keep moving forwards. “Don’t bring this up again.”

“But-”

“Do you want your lesson or not?”

They didn’t speak again. He rubbed his hands up and down their lower legs in apology for his tone, but didn’t rescind his words. He couldn’t firebend in camp, couldn’t risk the rejection if anyone put too many pieces together and wondered exactly how he knew so much about firebending.

(After all, if he were a war-child like Tu, how would he have had access to training? Everyone understood it was exceptionally lucky that Tu had found him – and his own bad luck was notorious. If he gave the bards enough clues, they would figure him out and the network of bards, spanning the entire earth kingdom, would reject him.)

No, he couldn’t risk it. Especially not with Jet on alert for firebenders.

The tension had dissipated before they came to a grassy spot outside of the town. Neither was good at holding grudges against the other, and Tu seemed to understand they had overstepped their bounds.

(They’d seen his face. They could guess why his own bending would be a sore spot. They’d be wrong about it but he didn’t want to explain that just because Shui accepted _them,_ it didn’t mean he would accept him.)

They found some rocks near the village’s creek, cushioned with a healthy coating of moss. The creek gurgled quietly, combining with the slow awakening of the camp being them to make a peaceful white noise. The sky above them was pink, low-hanging clouds stained a vivid orange. The colours of sunrise never seemed quite real.

Li swung Tu from his shoulders with a little more vigour than necessary, making them whoop, before the pair settled down; Tu nestled against Li’s chest, strong arms secure around their skinny ribs. It wasn’t a proper meditation form, but one thing Li had learned when teaching Tu was to do what worked best, rather than what he’d been taught.

Li took a deep breath.

He felt the fire of the sun, the fire in Tu’s chest, and the fire in his own body. He let his thoughts clear.

It was more difficult than usual.

***

Jet was exhausted and Li was missing.

Now stuck in the habit of waking at sunrise, he’d spent the morning searching the camp top to bottom to find Li – with no luck. He’d known that Li needed some space after he’d accidentally upset him the night before, but he hadn’t thought that he would drop off the face of the earth.

They would have to leave soon enough, assuming Li wouldn’t… He just seemed pretty attached to these people. Felt safe with them.

( _That was a good thing_. He needed to remind himself of that more often than he really should. If Li wanted to stay here then Jet would have to… do something he didn’t want to.)

There was no point in dwelling on it before he found Li. He needed to at least _talk_ to him but nobody he spoke to knew anything.

At first, he was willing to think his problem was of an innocent origin - Li clearly frequented the group, but that didn’t mean that everyone there knew him all that well. It was also quite likely, knowing him, that he used a different name with them.

Then he’d spoken to a young woman Li had sang a duet with the night before – Jet recognised the unusual red tint to her hair, and her slight lisp that came from a broken tooth - and she’d batted her eyelashes at him and denied even knowing Li. He grit his teeth through their interaction – it wasn’t an accident that he couldn’t find him, then.

Then he’d been generous enough to think it might be an outsider thing – Jet wasn’t a bard and had little respect for their craft, beyond how it made Li happy. Perhaps the tight-knit group of like-minded individuals simply didn’t like him. It was irritating to think, especially as time wore on and the responses he received grew more and more repetitive, but he figured he would get his answer eventually - or that Li would hear he was looking for him, at least. 

He spotted the head honcho – _Shui_ , was it? – easily enough. His head and shoulders bobbed above the crowd like a ship on water. He’d spoken to Li a hundred times last night, in-between every song Li did, it seemed. There was no way he could deny knowing him, and a leader would be sensible and serious enough not to yank Jet around like the rest of his people had been doing for the sake of some prank.

Well, maybe not, judging by the identical behaviour of all his followers, but Shui was sure to be his best bet.

“Morning,” Jet pulled a friendly smile out, the early hour and long search making it tricky to maintain. When Shui returned the greeting, Jet asked, “You’re the guy in charge here, right?”

“More or less.” He gave a shrug of his giant shoulders, expression closed. Jet recalled seeing Li’s kid sitting on just _one_ of those shoulders with plenty of space on either side of them, without the big guy even noticing their weight. Shui carried no weapons, and Jet had taken out guys his size before, but if the man happened to know any combat…

There had to be a _reason_ for Li to feel safe here.

Out of the corner of his eye, Jet noticed some of his dancers stopping to watch their conversation. They didn’t look like much, but he knew it took some muscle to do the tricks they did. And he knew there was at least one earthbender in the group, considering how they’d constructed the stage and seating – not to mention the pillars that had sprung out of the ground to catch the flipping dancers.

(That was another point in their favour – they were coordinated, and trusted each other implicitly.)

Li had proven the night before how well a fighter’s grace lent itself to dancing – these people wouldn’t be trained for it, but that ease of movement would go a long way.

And there was the firebender to contend with, as if he could forget. He hadn’t expected to need Li’s tricks for fighting firebenders this quickly, but needs must. Hopefully, Li wouldn’t be too upset with him if he killed the firebender in self-defence (because he’d need that claim, regardless of whether or not it actually _was_ self-defence).

Smellerbee and Longshot would be of no help to him right then – they were still asleep in their camp. As far as he knew, at least.

Li was still missing.

If things went horribly wrong, he wouldn’t be able to retreat – not without finding everyone first.

(They probably wouldn’t hear him if he whistled for them at that distance, even if he could find some way to sneak the noise past Shui.)

“Are you looking for something?” Shui brought his attention back to the conversation.

Jet forced a casual slump into his posture but kept his hands by his sides, swords in easy reach, and his feet in a solid stance.

“A friend of mine,” Jet answered. “He goes by Li with us, but I suspect he uses a different name with you. He only showed up last night; spent most of his time with the kid?”

The man nodded. “He never gave us a name, but I know who you’re talking about.”

Jet waited for him to say more.

The man gave him a polite nod, then turned to leave.

“Wait!” Jet stepped forward, and Shui paused mid-step, one foot hovering in the air like he was making a joke of it, and twisted to look at him. “Do you know where he is?”

“I do.”

Jet grit his teeth at his vaguely amused expression. “Would you mind telling me where he is?”

“I would.”

A titter ran through their audience. (The crowd felt bigger than it was before, almost enclosing him.) _Right_ , this guy was a performer. And pissed at Jet, for whatever reason. He didn’t get why - it wasn’t like they’d spoken before – but that didn’t matter as much as getting him to tell him where Li was.

It would probably be easiest to play his game until the guy was bored.

But he’d been at this for over an hour with almost no results, and this guy was being deliberately antagonising. 

“Would you just-”

 _“No.”_ The little smirk was gone, Shui’s expression hard. “I thought I’d already made that clear.”

Jet clenched his hands into fists. It was better than leaving them free to grab his swords.

“If I were you,” the man took one step forwards, his immense figure blocking out the rising sun behind him, “I’d go back to your camp, and stay there. Then he can find you… if he goes looking for you.”

Jet went cold. “What did you do?”

The man had the audacity to laugh. “It’s got nothing to do with what I did – I just did the same as always. This is to do with what _you_ did.”

Li had to know Jet was worried out of his mind trying to find him. The guy was sensitive like that, and wouldn’t keep Jet waiting, not unless something had gone terribly wrong. There was no way Li would be _that_ hurt about their argument last night – Li _had_ to know Jet was in the right.

(Li wouldn’t just _leave_ with these people, with these _strangers._ He was supposed to be a Freedom Fighter, even if they’d never made it official.)

This guy was up to something. That had to be what this was.

Jet said as much.

“Again – I’m doing the same as I always am. We always show Stranger a good time; and we always ask him to stick around with us. If he decided to come with this time, that’s not really on us.”

He wanted to poach Li out from under him.

(Li was happy here. Safe. He’d be right to want to stay.

Every day, Li’s recovery slowed. He’d been stuck for the last two weeks, unwilling to listen to any reassurances that they would never hate him. Jet wasn’t sure how much more he could help him, not without knowing some of Li’s secrets – secrets he was starting to suspect this guy knew, like _he_ had any right to them.

If only Li would tell him - let him prove he wouldn’t hurt him - then everything would be fine.)

This man wanted to take Li, one of _his kids_ , and keep him here _,_ as if Li would be _safe_ surrounded by _firebending scum._

(Li thought he _was_ safe, somehow, and that only made it worse.)

One of Jet’s hands gripped his swords. He didn’t draw them, not yet, but it was close. His weight shifted to the balls of his feet.

The ground swelled beneath him, throwing him off balance. He let go of his swords and stretched his arms out to keep himself from falling, the movement reflexive. He took a little step back and widened his stance, all too aware of his unprotected chest and the too-close powerhouse.

So. Shui was the earthbender.

“You should head back to your camp.” The man’s tone was gentle, edged with pity, and Jet snarled. The ground shifted him again, harsher that time, and Jet just barely stayed on his feet, half-crouching.

The dancers moved to form rows on either side of him. The only free space was right behind him.

Smellerbee and Longshot were asleep at camp ~~(hopefully)~~ and Li was still missing. Jet couldn’t afford to let something to happen to him, not until they knew the full picture.

Jet turned, pretending to himself and everyone else that he didn’t care he was showing them his back, and left.

[1] Kronk voice: You’d think they would have turned out better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos comment subscribe read these notes if you care about my schedule please
> 
> okay so yeah i said this on my Tumblr but i know not all y'all are on there so i thought I'll pop up one last chapter and explain it to y'all here  
> idk when my next update is gonna be. i mean it's finished and sitting in a word doc right now but i want to have more stuff finished before i put it up because, as y'all have noticed, Shit is happening. I wanna get it right and i need to take the proper time to make it right but also like. i was gonna not put up this one but i figured that wasn;t fair so
> 
> I do not work well with deadlines or pressure and trying to work on this is kinda stressing me out. I have some other stuff i wanna write but it makes me feel guilty but i don't wanna write this so then i just don't write. you feel me?  
> so yeah this is on temporary hiatus until i have the next 4-6 chapters all squeaky perfect, or at minimum, i have rough drafts of the next few parts that i am completely happy with and certain that i will follow (because i have to do /rough drafts/ you guys instead of just screaming directly into my computer that's how hard this is i don't write like that unless things are hard but like. i do that for like specific hard scenes not whole-ass chapters ugh)
> 
> in the meantime im probably gonna actually do that non evil twin update i promised like a month ago (oops) and also i wana write another soulmate au and i know i just did that but like even tho the premise is almost identical the plot would be different and also contain jet (just like. jet. seeing zuko with his soulmarks burned off. like. he;d fuckng murder a bitch. i want it.) and possibly teeny tiny tu because they're my favourite. but that'll hopefully be a one shot. 
> 
> while you wait you should stare at my other stuff but things that arent mine that i recommend are all of fanfiction (should i start bookmarking things to rec to y'all or nah?) but honestly i plan chapters while listening to music right?? this one has been a lot of Balance Not Symmetry by Biffy Clyro and if you want music recs you should listen to that album. idk i just really love it so. and im probably gonna start doing like chapter titles with their lyrics soon so sorry for that.  
> also watch tim vine flag hippo for some dumb joy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjqIDFjBNhQ
> 
> check out my Tumblr for updates on my work and for my doodles of this: https://foiblepnoteworthy.tumblr.com/


	4. Purple

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thats right fam i have returned i have risen from my tomb i am alive and here be excited sorry this is short except im not i count this as an achievement

Tu dragged Sifu into the first tent they found when they reached camp. It was empty save for a cookfire, unlit, and a few chairs. Sifu sat himself down and watched them with an expectant smile.

Tu grinned and explained their new trick: “So I started playing-”

“Experimenting.”

“ _Experimenting_ with making my fire hotter so it’s a different colour,” they held their hand out, palm up, and curled their fingers to create a plain orange flame. Then they made a fist and thought about their favourite songs and dances - thought about how Sifu was _here_ and they got to _cuddle_ and _meditate_ and how he was going to be so _proud_ of them – and the fire turned white, little licks of purple appearing when they breathed in.

They opened their hand out again and the fire kept its colour, even when they passed it between their hands. Making the emotions and holding them took a lot of focus, but they’d just meditated and Sifu was right across from them smiling at their achievement.

He jumped up and yelled, _“That’s amazing, Tu!”_ and their fires turned purple and their cheeks hurt from smiling. Sifu stepped closer like he wanted to hug them, but they weren’t finished yet.

They made a flame in their other hand, then a third in the space between them. With a forceful pout and Sifu’s excitement and support, they curled the flames into three little balls and threw them up in the air, catching them one at a time and then throwing them again.

Sifu pulled on his short hair – and it was still weird to see, with no hat in the way – mouth open like a tuna-trout, staring at their fire. “Are you _juggling_ with them?”

Tu added in some fancy footwork and spins, wondering if they could get away with singing without losing their breath control.

“You should learn to juggle, Sifu,” they said, grinning at the memory of all the times he’d tried it before. “That will be our next lesson.”

“I’m never going to be able to juggle as well as you, Tu.”

Tu added in a fourth ball without a hitch in their rhythm and grinned at his fake pout.

Sifu leaned a little closer, inspecting the fire. Tu’s control was perfect like it always was - control was the first thing they’d wanted to learn, and the first thing Sifu had wanted to teach.

“Do you think,” he said, “You could make them go back to yellow on their way ‘round, and then make them purple again when you catch them?”

 _Colour-changing_ juggling balls! Tu fumed, their fires losing their purple for a moment. They should have thought of that already!

They let the fourth flame sputter out and focused their attention on the original three, letting the heat drop and restart as the fire moved between their hands.

It took them a few minutes to gain the right rhythm before the internal shifting of their breath and control matched the natural shifting of their hands.

Sifu watched the colours with that little happy face he made sometimes – well, he almost always seemed _happy_ , but this one was extra so, and it was only ever just for them – his hands wiggling like he wanted to shove through their fire and hug them.

Tu dropped their fire and held out their arms. They were more than happy to take a free hug from their favourite person. He scooped them up and held them above his head for a minute, before he pulled them in so tight to him that they almost couldn’t breathe.

They’d get back to training in a moment – Sifu probably had something new and cool to show them – but it was nice to enjoy him just being there for a moment.

***

Li crushed his favourite baby to his chest, felt their heart beating against his.

They’d juggled fire! It was fun and happy and cute and safe and exactly what their firebending should always be. Exactly what Tu should always be.

They had, from that first day, sourced their firebending from things that made them happy, rather than from anger or hatred or any other passion Li had been taught to source his from. Simply _seeing_ them firebending was all Li needed to know that they were content.

It was a good thing, he often thought, that they actively cultivated positive emotions for themself. They were unlikely to fall prey to his all-too-familiar fits of melancholy. He bet they barely ever had tantrums like he did, when the world seemed to big and too small and he didn’t know how to cope because no one _wanted_ him to know.

It was a good thing, he knew, that they sourced their firebending from happiness.

It was _not_ a good thing that they could _only_ source it from happiness.

It was hard to focus on your happiness when it came to situations such as, say, their Sifu’s new friend being way too invested in trying to cut their head off.

The warmth in his chest dimmed, and he fought to keep his smile from falling.

(Jet had agreed to leave things alone last night, but only barely – and that was far from a promise not to kill Tu if he managed to find them. It was one thing that he wanted Li dead - wanted _Zuko_ dead, and Li wasn’t Zuko anymore, but would Jet listen? – but it was a completely different thing if he wanted to hurt Tu. Tu didn’t _do_ anything wrong.

Li had sparred with Jet dozens of times since he’d joined up with the Freedom Fighters. He’d seen his determination to win in his eyes every time they’d crossed swords; seen the thrill he got from a good fight; seen how he relished in the burn in his muscles, in his chest, when a fight grew long and hard. There was no way he would back down from a fight with Li, and Li couldn’t think of any way to put him down without making it permanent.

And then there was still Smellerbee and Longshot to consider.)

However, Li had, with a bit of luck, a good few hours to help Tu learn the basics of defensive firebending.

***

“No!” Tu pulled back, forcing themselves out of the hug they really wanted because Sifu was always so _warm_ , and turning their back on him with an appropriately sized pout.

They weren’t going to learn how to hurt people. They couldn’t ever turn the happiness they used to fuel their fires into anger or sadness or – or _hate_.

“I won’t do it!” they told him again. They would never be the thing that people thought they were, not even for pretend or an emergency.

They weren’t a bad person, and they never would be. They would never learn how to fight. They could never hurt anyone, even to save their life.

***

Jet edged out of the tent village, senses alert, just in case. These people were Li’s friends, but they were also liars – _it was literally their job_ – not to mention firebenders. They were lying firebenders, convincing enough that Li – _Li_ , of all people – trusted them.

(They were animals, plain and simple. He wasn’t sure what they were doing in this group, but he knew it wasn’t half as innocent as Li seemed to think.

 _A half-blood,_ he’d said. If they were truly earth, they wouldn’t use their fire – if the fire in their blood was so strong it came out their hands, they could hardly call themselves earth, regardless of what their poor pitiable mothers thought.

They were evil, no matter what they pretended to Li or themselves.)

Jet paused at the edge of Tent-Town, hairs on the back of his neck standing up.

There was a light in the last tent, despite the steadily rising sun. Maybe they’d need a lantern or two to see in there, if they needed to read or something, but not as many as he could see under the closed entrance flaps.

Maybe it was a cook tent.

He couldn’t smell any food. Nor the smoke that would come from a natural fire.

The fire moved erratically, like someone was throwing lanterns around.

(That would be quite the fire hazard.)

He curled his hands into loose fists at his sides. He’d found them.

If the firebender spotted him, he wouldn’t have time to get out of the camp without a fight. Especially with Smellerbee and Longshot still asleep, and Li missing. Just regrouping would take too long.

There could be more than just one firebender. Maybe this whole camp was made of ash-makers, the few earthbenders he’d spotted only there to throw him off. If the group gained enough of a reputation, they might be able to get into Ba Sing se without too many checks. They might be asked to perform before the Earth King, or something ridiculous like that. None of them really look like threats, not until it’s too late.

These people were skilled enough liars to put _Li_ at ease – a few guards would be nothing compared to his rigid paranoia.

That had to be their plan. That or something similar – pretending to be a group of bards so they could sneak in somewhere and deal a blow to the Earth Kingdom government. They would have to be up to something huge, seeing as they were playing such a long con.

He wouldn’t expect anything less from a group of firebenders cruel enough to trick Li – to pretend to be his friend for some sick laughs. They had to be up to something: Why else would they pretend to be bards in the first place?

Another thought struck him - did Li’s kid know about the firebenders? For that matter, how long had they been in this camp – did they even know the truth about the war? If Jet had to take down this whole camp, he’d have to make sure the kid was okay, for the kid’s sake as much as Li’s.

There was no way the kid knew anything about what was going on; they were probably brought in to provide cover for their operations. Nobody would suspect these guys were up to something when their leader goes around with the world’s most adorable ten-year-old on his shoulder.

The kid was cute and light-footed and clearly enamoured with Li. Li’s recovery may have been slowing down recently, but he’d done well enough that Jet could afford to take on a new kid. He bet the kid would actually help with Li’s recovery, especially if they happened to know any of his pesky secrets.

Yeah, he could imagine taking in the kid, adding them to the group – just as soon as he was done taking out the firebenders hiding in the camp.

That would all be manageable, assuming Li didn’t start causing problems after he did it. He was willing to defend one of these monsters, even to the detriment of his kid - whoever it was, the firebender had clearly gotten under his skin.

Was there any way he could leave the camp without taking out the firebender? Could he live with himself if he didn’t fix this – save Li’s kid from whatever was going on and stop whatever the firebenders were plotting?

(Prove to Li that _no_ , he really didn’t want to stay with _these people_ ; he wanted to be with _him_.)

(Li had been so scared last night. Jet had almost forgotten that look in his eye, that stiffness of posture and expression. He’d thought – he’d _hoped_ \- he might never see it again.

Was that expression justified?)

Jet shook off the thought and took ahold the tent flaps.

_Pause. Centre yourself. Take a breath._

He let go and stepped back, taking a moment to focus on his surroundings; to focus on the air in his lungs and the placement of his limbs. (Maybe he could get the hang of meditation someday.)

He kicked at the ground gently, quietly, and stooped to scoop up the sandy dust of the not quite desert, pocketing it with a grimace. It was going to be a nightmare cleaning his pockets later.

It was worth it though, assuming Li’s firebender fighting advice was right. He’d recommended water, but had made it clear that a moment of disruption to a firebender’s breathing – such as sputtering over a faceful of dirt – would make all the difference in a fight.

(He didn’t get how the guy managed to be an expert in fighting the bastards and still got caught up in their sick games.)

He took another deep breath, trying to recentre himself. It wouldn’t do him any good to go rushing in in a blind fury.

The fire inside flickered.

Jet drew his swords, pushed back the tent flap with his forearm, and stepped inside. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos comment subscribe theres one chapter left and its mostly written hopefully
> 
> yeah i know i left to write all of it an come back but that was actually me being a baby and not wanting to write the hard thing so im making myself write the hard thing this is me being healthy i promise
> 
> (if you need comment ideas then pls tell me to get back to work on the next chapter its not rude i need it i spend way too much time on Tumblr help)
> 
> so yes next chapter some of the thing will happen. it should be up in two weeks, and i hope to have the chapter after that pre-written by then as well bc i miss being organised.
> 
> (i started writing a second soulmark fic because im terrible and i can already see that updates there are gonna be slow bc i wanna commit to this thing properly but id appreciate it if you checked it out its 'Colourful|Monochrome|Pink' because im dramatic and awful. its gonna have jet in it. i promise its sad and fun in a sad way)
> 
> [My Tumblr](https://foiblepnoteworthy.tumblr.com/), where i do avatar related drawings and illustrations for this sometimes


	5. Nemesis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is over nine thousand words. my chapters average out at 3k. this was what i expected this comment to be - or maybe like 5k, but that was my max estimate. im not sure how i didn't die

Sifu had eventually stopped trying to get them to fight. He seemed to realize that he couldn’t teach them to fight in the few hours they had anyway, so instead he’d shown them some new control exercises.

He taught them to make big flames with little heat, like holding onto a warm cloud. He stuck his hand in a few times, showing them each time that he wasn’t hurt.

“It’s too cold to hurt anyone,” he told them. “But it looks dangerous, which can make it very exciting while staying safe.”

He then showed them how to make brighter flames. It was tricky putting all their focus on a flame while only making it with one hand – they needed the other one to cover their eyes because it was so bright. It was trickier making the fire go bright quickly, flaring and dimming over and over, and it was really annoying because they knew that they’d never be able to use the trick for anything – not when it was too bright to look at.

They were not pleased when Sifu explained that the dim fire could be used to startle an opponent, while the brighter flames could blind them for a few seconds so they had a chance to run and hide.

They pouted and shouted and stomped their foot, but they’d couldn’t forget the tricks now.

“I’ll be telling Shui to make sure you keep practising that,” Sifu had promised in that sad way he did sometimes, kneeling with a hand on their shoulder, firm. “This is a compromise, Tu. This is my way of making sure you’re safe when I’m not here.”

Tu clucked their tongue. They found it hard to pretend they were annoyed, not when he’d said something else far more important. “You’re not staying?”

Sifu looked to the left of them, guilty and sad again. “I don’t think so,” he said. “I want to stay with my new friends, but I don’t think they want to be with the troupe. That’s not the main reason though,” he added, when his rejection sent their eyes hot and damp, “I really upset some people in the Fire Nation - I’m headed to Ba Sing Se so I can stay hidden.”

Tu jumped up, grabbing his arm, smiling wide and sadness forgotten. “Then I’ll go with you!”

Sifu’s eyes widened to saucers. “There are _so many reasons_ why you shouldn’t go to Ba Sing Se,” he said, shaking his head. “It wouldn’t be safe for you. If they found out about your bending…”

Tu wrapped their entire body around him in a sad pentapus hug. They didn’t _pout_. “Then you shouldn’t be going either.”

“I'm not having this discussion with you again,” he said, sharp like his swords. Tu went a little stiff at his mean voice. “Besides,” he turned their head up and smiled at them, a silent _‘sorry’_ , “I thought you were sulking with me.”

Tu pulled back, turning up their nose like a fancy person. “I am,” they said. “I’m not doing any more flares today.” But Sifu had gone to all the effort of making up the exercises for them, even trying to make safe attacks for them to use... “But I might practise them later,” they offered. “For you.”

Sifu scooped them up in a big hug which was very good because it meant they didn’t have to offer or ask for it while they were still annoyed at him. “Thank you,” he said, “That means so much to me. All I want is for you to be okay.”

He put them back down, sitting down on a box and gestured to them with one hand. “Let’s see your juggling again,” he said, looking peaceful and happy again. Tu was more than happy to show him again.

They spent the next few minutes trying to see how many balls they could add before it became too tricky to control their colours. When they got the hang of their rhythm, they made the balls flare a little, careful not to let the brightness affect their colour.

Good control over even the littlest details was really important to any performer, and Tu was the master of performing.

***

Li cocked his head at some footsteps outside, but relaxed almost immediately. All the actors, singers and dancers who lived in Shui’s troupe were well aware of Tu and their tricks, and supported them as much as they could, letting them take centre stage when they dipped into Fire Nation territories to the West and encouraging them to show off when they were on the road, with no outsiders around.

Even if they did notice Tu’s firebending lesson, they wouldn’t give either of them any bother. And besides, everyone knew better than to startle ‘Stranger’ when he was relaxed – there had been that memorable occasion of his knife at Pebbledash’s throat, or the time he almost broke Fish’s arm flipping her over his shoulder. And those two were actually friends of his, fellow travellers who met up once in a blue moon; they only got off uninjured because he was actually comfortable around them.

(Tu was the only one who got away with startling him - to their never-ending _delight_.)

No one was going to disturb them.

The figure outside the tent shifted, shoes scuffing the dirt. He watched their shadow move under the tent flaps. They didn’t leave.

A prickle ran down Li’s spine and he placed a hand on his swords, standing and placing himself between the entrance and Tu. He forced his expression to stay relaxed, giving Tu a reassuring smile that was not at all reassuring, judging by how their flames dimmed and started to lose their colour.

The entrance flaps were pushed aside, and Li saw a glint of metal.

He reacted.

***

The thing about fire is that it lacks any physical presence – something Li had pointed out when teaching them to fight firebenders. A burst of fire makes you flinch back if you’re a coward, but when you’re used to seeing the bright movement of fire you can switch off that part of your brain that panics and force your weapon through the flames. Half the time these flames weren’t even that strong – the firebenders didn’t want to set themselves alight, after all, and so only used powerful flames at longer range.

Once you’re in close enough, with a weapon in hand, it’s child’s play to take out the firebender, as long as you do it before he has a chance to hit you with something stronger than a ‘scary’ flare.

In other words, just pretend the fire isn’t there and cut through it to get to the firebender and you're golden.

This technique, useful though it may be, wasn’t particularly effective against the incoming attack because swords, unlike fire, _do_ have a physical presence.

Jet’s shoulders were rocked by the unexpected resistance. He shifted his feet, suddenly off-balance at the lost follow through. The weight under his swords disappeared and he slashed them up to fend off the blow he knew was coming, stepping back to give himself some breathing space and get a better look at the swordsman protecting the firebender (and that didn’t make any _sense_ ).

(And then it _did_ make sense.)

Li looked at him, clearly just as surprised as he was by the figure at the end of his swords, eyes wide in shock. Li stepped further back into the tent and composed himself, shock disappearing behind an indifferent mask. Jet, unthinking in the face of his friend’s distress, followed him into the enclosed space.

Shadows fell across his shoulders as he hid from the world with Li and the firebender that Li was, for some unknowable reason, protecting.

(What did they have on him? What could confuse his loyalties like this?)

Li kept his swords raised, his expression hard and difficult to read, one foot back and the other forward, shifting hie weight between them. He showed no signs of backing down.

(It stung that, in a choice between the people who had scarred him and the people who had loved and fed and comforted him, he had chosen the ashmakers.)

Jet was more than familiar with Li’s skill with his swords, having sparred with him almost every day since they’d met, but he’d never felt the full force of Li’s power and talent directed at him before, nor had he seen that battle-ready hardness of expression up close.

(He almost wished for Li’s mask; it hurt to see him look at him like that - like he would kill Jet, if he had to.)

The tent was large, wide enough for him to swing his swords without cutting into the thick green canvass, with the earthbent supports stopping two heads above him to create a high ceiling. It had been easy enough to not recognise Li in the semi-gloom of the tent and it took another minute to spot the other figure in the tent, half hidden behind Li.

He stepped to the side to see around him better and felt his heart drop into his stomach.

Behind Li – _fuck_ – behind him was his kid.

And with an almost audible click – with the cackle of a cruel god - all the pieces fell into place.

***

Li was quite certain he was about to explode. Or implode. Either one would be fine.

Well, actually, neither one would be fine. Because if he _ex-_ or _im-_ ploded, then Jet would have free reign to kill Tu.

His heart dropped to his stomach. He’d been able to ignore the itty-bitty niggling issue of Jet wanting to kill him for this long, but he couldn’t avoid it anymore. Not if he wanted to avoid bloodshed.

(There was no way to avoid bloodshed here. There was only the choice (that wasn’t really a choice) of _who_ would be hurt.)

His good eye burned and blurred and he blinked rapidly to clear his vision.

(Show no weakness. He’ll kill you for protecting them.)

Last night he’d almost let himself hope that Jet would let it go. Tu was a kid – they couldn’t be guilty of anything. Anything except being born.

***

The firebender was in here. Jet had known this before he walked in, but some part of his mind scrambled to explain the unnatural light when he was faced with Li and his kid.

A ring of purple fire spun around the kid’s head, slowly dissipating as the tension in the tent rose.

Li pushed the kid behind him - gently, with the back of his hand - and Jet was almost overcome with pity.

The poor bastard.

_Of course_ Li’s kid was the firebender.

(The sting of rejection dissipated under his pity, under his understanding. Li loved this kid, even though it was based on lies and cruelty, it made sense that he would protect them, like he would protect his other friends.)

Nausea swelled at the realisation, filling him from his mouth to the pit of his stomach, but he didn’t know why.

(His hands loosened their grip on his sword hilts.)

_He’d actually thought about taking this ashmaker?_

He was vaguely aware of Li, swords up and ready, settling into a stance in front of the kid, who still acted clueless about their imminent death.

_(No.)_

The firebender hid behind Li. They were still dressed in their bright dancer’s clothes. (Their eyes were too big for their head; their limbs slender and willowy even with their dancer’s muscle; their whole body caught in the strange proportions of childhood.)

(… _yes_. Don’t go soft now. Li needs you to be the strong one here.

Li isn’t going to have the will to do what needs to be done.)

***

Even with Li telling stories of his past adventures most evenings, there was still plenty of time to hear Jet’s tales of his own exploits.

He’d told him about how he’d taken in every kid he could find and nursed them back to sanity and health; how he’d kept almost two dozen kids all alive in the unforgiving territory of the forest, only ever losing them to raids; how he’d designed and built their treehouses to keep the Fire Nation from sneaking up on them again.

How he counted his kills at the end of every raid and kept a running tally, taught himself to write his numbers just so he’d know exactly how much Fire Nation blood stained his swords and soul.

(He’d told him his story one night, after he’d woken up from the arena with his scar prickling – told him that the fire nation killed his family and destroyed his village and he saw the whole thing happen. Li had watched his face contort into something strange and twisted; monstrous, trapped in a deep well of anger. He spat when he spoke and only met his eyes to stare at the scar, sure to his bones that Li felt the same.

He hadn’t looked like the boy Li had come to know. Li didn’t want to ever see that again; could only hope it would never be directed at him.

He hadn’t dared to look at him the night before, but was sure Jet had watched him with that same hatred, furious and betrayed that Li would protect a firebender from him.

He’d worn that look today when he entered the tent.)

Li had some blood on his hands. He wouldn’t deny what he did to the Avatar, to Kyoshi Island, to his own men when freeing the Avatar from Pohuai – but he knew it was there and knew it was wrong and _he was going to fix it_.

Jet, on the other hand, was proud of his kills. Be they a civilian or soldier, a bender or armsman, a fresh-faced teen or grizzled commander, he didn’t regret a single one.

Jet had never mentioned whether or not he’d killed a child and Li had never thought to ask.

He’d know soon enough if he was willing.

Teeny Tiny Tu still held their hands in a kata formation, their flames becoming wispy and fading to white, then yellow. They still had a little half-smile and light behind their eyes because being allowed to grow up in a safe place can be very damaging for someone that everyone in the world wants dead.

Tu looked between Li and Jet. They knew that Jet was friends with their Sifu. They knew that their Sifu had cried himself to sleep last night over his friends that wanted to kill him, but they were all-too-familiar with their Sifu’s dramatic tendencies.

Tu did not realise that Jet was about to kill them.

_No._ Li stepped in front of Tu, keeping them from Jet’s eyeline. His swords were in his hands without his permission. He pulled them into a guard in front of his face.

There was no force on earth that could stop him from protecting them. But there were, he knew, few forces on earth that could stop Jet when he set his mind on something.

(Something like taking in his new friend Li and teaching him to trust, offering him safety and friendship and something that might have been contentment with his new life; something like fighting off a team of Fire Nation mercenaries to save a boy he met the day before, just _because_ ; something like making Li laugh and smile and feel like a kid and not a soldier.)

(Something like leaping from a rooftop and charging into battle without thinking of his followers’ safety, because he saw a Firebender and he just _had_ to kill him.)

Li unsheathed his swords from his back, planted his feet, and pulled in a deep breath. He felt his inner flames banking.

The pre-battle adrenalin flooded his limbs, bringing the familiar euphoric drag, but he couldn’t force his mouth into a sharp-toothed smile, or push a threat from his throat.

Across from him Jet held his swords, loose by his waist.

***

Jet was willing to admit it: the kid was a clever trap. All but the strongest of wills would balk at the idea of finishing them off, especially with those bright eyes and sparkly clothes (and the way they made Li light up like a little kid at his first Spring Festival).

They’d managed to convince Li they were mixed, maybe a warchild. It would have been easy to manipulate another who’d been hurt by the Fire Nation and convince them that they were one in the same, buying safety and loyalty from a dangerous swordfighter.

But… wouldn’t that work the other way around? Wouldn’t admitting to their fire blood just make Li even more likely to hurt them – he had even more reason than most to hate _Fire_ – and yet… he seemed to think that war children were all innocent of their parents’ crimes, that the poison wouldn’t follow them into their blood.

Then again, it wasn’t like he blamed Li for his father’s numerous unspecified crimes, even though he’d contributed to them at times. The same theory would apply, surely.

The same…

_Fuck._

Li’s family were criminals and he knew Jet hated them and he thought Jet hated him and he’d been taught about firebending by experts.

“You’re mixed too.”

He barely dared to breathe the words, to say them would be to make them true, to see the way Li flinched a confirmation at the cruel accusation, his eyes wide in fear that he may lose Jet’s trust - the only thing that kept them from duelling outright.

“But you’re not like _them_ ,” Jet said, to himself a much as to Li. He couldn’t look at Li, not at the seashell skin that didn’t tan or the coal black hair or the eyes that were the colour of wealth and predators and _fire_. He fixed his gaze on the swords in his hands, the proof that at least he wasn’t a bender; proof that the poison hadn’t spread that far.

“You got away. You – you _burned_ them.” And he finally understood why. He finally realised that Li had been right to do so. He realised why Li had been so convinced Jet would hate him, why he had been so afraid whenever he spoke of his adventures and his family and his past deeds.

But he had cut off all his family ties, save for his mother’s brother (she would be the Earth side, of course, perhaps the Lady or Princess of some captured colony land, betrothed to the conqueror as a _spoil of war_ ). Li had rejected his Fire side shortly after Jet found him, after playing along with his father’s games to try to get control of his lands and to serve his people by placating the monster.

Jet sneered inwardly at Li’s naivete, but couldn’t blame him. Li had spoken at length about the cruelty of his father, how he’d been desperate to please him because pleasing him meant safety and _Jet was going to kill that blasted firebender if it was the last thing he ever did._

(A revelation struck him, the dot of light in the darkness. Now that he knew, it fixed everything. This – _this_ was the barrier that had kept Li out but he _knew_ now. Everything would be better now. He just had to get over this hurdle.)

He smiled, slow and soft, in reassurance of Li’s safety. “You _chose_ to be one of us,” he said to Li. Li didn’t lower his swords. “You’re _Earth_ , Li. I swear it. Your blood doesn’t change that.”

Li let out a shaky breath, and showed no other reaction.

He was still ready to fight Jet for the kid.

(It wasn’t even Li’s fault; he’d been _raised_ among the [spider-snakes](https://foiblepnoteworthy.tumblr.com/post/623257556503183360/the-blogsquad-did-not-want-me-to-draw-a). He would have had to trick himself into thinking they had a chance at kindness, into thinking he had a chance of being safe, just to make it through those dark years in the colonies with his heart intact.)

Even though the poison clearly hadn’t reached Li, there was no way it could allow for a conscience in a spark-spitting child. (Maybe Li’s sister really _was_ a lost cause. It was all too obvious now that she was a firebender. It seemed a little more of a shame from that angle, that she’d never had a chance to begin with, but the end result was the same. She and the ashmaker in front of him were both too dangerous.)

So. He looked at the situation again with new eyes, but his conclusions stayed the same. The firebender had found a fellow warchild and was manipulating him into their plan.

…but that couldn’t have been their initial plan. There was no way they were targeting _Li_ specifically. No way. No one could account for Li; and, from the way the bards acted around him, he was clearly a vagabond, even to those who actually knew him. His schedule and history were a mystery to them.

The firebender being perfect for slipping through Li’s defences was an accident. A coincidence.

_~~(Or…)~~ _

So the act was an all-round job, one to keep people from hurting them while they completed their real plan – they were playing off the way people saw them so they could get close to whoever they wanted to kill.

(What was the term? A sleeper agent?)

If anyone realised what they were doing their mission would be in danger, an airtight disguise was the best way the firebender could protect themself.

Jet’s stomach twisted at that because he _knew_ that wasn’t right.

The innocent act was not, in any way, the best way of protecting them. What if Li had told someone? What if someone only pretended to fall for their act, then came back to kill them in their sleep?

The best protection would be to kill their enemies, so why was Li still alive?

(There was always a chance that… _No._ )

He shook himself mentally, refusing to fall into their trap.

There was no point in trying to understand the thought processes of these monsters. Crazy and evil go hand in hand, their plan didn’t have to make sense. Most likely, the ~~kid~~ demon just thought it was funny to mess with someone like Li.

He’d put the ~~ki~~ animal down, help Li understand what was actually going on, and the two of them would take out anyone else here that needed taken down. With Smellerbee and Longshot watching their backs, they could take out this camp easily.

(This camp of dozens of warriors who pretended to be dancers and earthbenders and other firebenders in this endless maze of tents.)

Jet sheathed his swords. He’d need Li on his side before he could do anything, as much for Li’s mental health as for his chances in a fight. Even at his weakest Li could matched Jet blow for blow, the last thing he needed was to be fighting him as well.

(He couldn’t fight Li. Even seeing him, swords out and hackled raised, hit that protective urge inside him. He wanted to drag Li away from whatever had scared him; fight whoever had pushed away his turtleduck and brought back the spider-hedgehog.

He couldn’t believe he’d almost forgotten that visceral look of fear he got when he thought Jet was about to hurt him.

He couldn’t believe he’d brought it back.)

“Li-”

“Get out.”

“Li,” Jet took a small step forward, and Li straightened his posture, every muscle tense. “Just step outside and-”

Li snarled, hateful and feral, “If you touch them I’ll kill you.”

_Well_. Jet blinked, resisting the urge to take a step back at the unfamiliar vehemence in Li’s tone.

(Those were the stakes then. One wound on the firebender and Li was gone. He’d never be able to get him back. It was one thing to suspect it, and quite another to hear him say it.)

“Li, you have to know this doesn’t make any sense. This has to be some kind of Fire Nation trick-”

“They’re Earth.”

Jet wrinkled his nose. That was ridiculous – even a mixed firebender would be stuck with the fire poison, not that Li and his confuse loyalties could understand that. It would be a mercy to do away with the ashmaker. It was a shame no one had tried earlier. “No mixed kid would be stuck with Fire. Not if they were truly Earth, like us – do you really think the spirits would be so cruel?”

Li shrugged, his swords lowering a tad. “I do.”

He was willing to talk, it seemed, but only to argue his own case. But Jet had always been good with his words. Plus, even though Li was stubborn, Jet was _right_ and that would count for more than any cute faces the kid could throw at them. There was no way a real earth kid could have fire – no way anyone could be _infected_ by the Fire Nation like that and still hold an ounce of innocence in their heart.

Fire was _evil_ , right to the core. No second chances, no kindness, no softness in those monsters in human flesh. He couldn’t have been wrong about that. (He had done too many things based on that ~~beli-~~ on that _fact_ , to have been wrong about it.)

“You say they’re Earth despite the evidence,” he raised an eyebrow, even daring to add some humour to his tone, “Even though they _choose_ to use their Fire?”

“A bender needs to bend, Jet. They might as well have fun with it,” Li narrowed his eyes. “It’s better than hating themself for something they can’t change.”

Jet scowled (he couldn’t really argue with that, not while Li thought the kid had a chance at being _Earth;_ not while Li thought the firebender was the same as him, poor bastard) and tried a different angle, “They’re obviously in contact with the Fire Nation if they’ve got the training to pull off stunts like that purple fire. Someone’s teaching them.”

Li snorted. It was a harsh ugly thing, far from the chuckles he could coax out of him when he let his guard down, from the giggles he’d heard the one time he got close enough to tickle him.

“Yeah,” he drawled, the corners of his lips curling, “There’s nowhere else they could have found an expert in firebending, or someone who regularly breaks into Fire Nation fortresses who could grab them a scroll or two to study from.”

Jet’s breath stuttered. It was one thing to be unwitting friends with a tricksome firebender, it was quite another to, “You’re _teaching_ them?”

Li bared his teeth in a not-quite-smile, head tilted in question. He leaned forwards, tightened his grip on his swords. There was confrontation in his posture. “You gonna kill me, Jet?”

His words struck like a physical blow. Jet’s hands came up, placating. His swords were firmly stuck in his belt. The firebender peered out from behind him, that faux-innocent faux-confused expression still playing across their face as if they thought they could trick Jet.

“I promised I’d never hurt you, Li,” he said, flooding his tone with sincerity. “I keep my promises, you know that.”

All of Li’s doubts began to make sense.

Li looked almost _smug_. “I told you that you would hurt me, one day, for the things I am and the things I’ve done. I accepted you would break that promise a long time ago.”

( _Great._ All of Li’s trust – in Jet, and in humanity in general - was tied up in whatever came out of this mess, if they survived it.)

He couldn’t prove Li right about him, about everyone. But how was he supposed to convince him that the entire world wasn’t out to get him while also convincing him that the only people he trusted before Jet (maybe the only people he trusted _at all_ ) were definitely out to get him.

Jet was never going to change Li’s mind about the firebender; they had him wrapped around their little finger. He believed what they said wholeheartedly.

The firebender was wide-eyed and confused and hidden behind Li, their mouth slightly open as if about to speak, thought they stayed quiet. Li had probably known the firebender for years, considering their closeness despite Li’s apparent habit of wandering. The tutoring would explain that, he supposed, ~~similarly to how his kids had looked up to him, and how he’d cared for each of them with all his heart in return.~~

That had to be why the firebender had let Li live. They wanted his firebending know-how, but that didn’t make much sense – a non-bending expert would be a decent enough teacher if they were desperate perhaps, but a fire nation infiltrator would have had access to all the expert firebenders they wanted in this camp full of soldiers and spies.

(Jet had no evidence that the camp was full of them.)

But why else would the ashmaker let Li live, knowing about them and always capable of revealing them and so incredibly dangerous in his own right?

Li had his own explanation that fit most of the facts.

But if Li was right– if they really was an earth war bastard like they claimed – then…

(His breath caught in his throat at the implications and he carefully did not look at the small child he had been planning to kill.)

He owed it to Li to at least _try_ to see it from his perspective.

(It wasn’t a nice perspective.)

He couldn’t imagine being an earth firebender. Being hated for what he was, even though he couldn’t help it. Hating himself and feeling responsible for the pain of everyone around him. Never being able to trust anyone. Scrounging for the smallest scraps of information about firebending so he didn’t accidentally burn his house down. Or hurt his friends or himself or…

Could the spirits really be so cruel a to create someone like that?

(If the spirits made someone like that, and Jet was harassing them and Li was helping them and _Jet was not the bad guy here ~~(he couldn’t be wrong about Fire and its poison, not with everything he’d done)~~ –_ but. But could it actually be possible? An innocent firebender?)

He looked between Li and his kid, entertaining the thought for just a moment. Thought about the relationship that could make between the burned boy and the burning child who shared a passion for dance. How overjoyed the kid would be to find someone who could help them; how much Li needs to have some innocent unconditional love in his life; how a child would be so much easier to trust, completely lacking in ulterior motives.

He glanced at the kid, who just barely reached Li’s chest.

They had been _juggling_. There was no way Li taught them that – no way those ashmakers would ever use their fire like that - but they were _playing_ with their fire. The kid _chose_ to do that – they taught themselves that. It was the only explanation for them doing that.

The kid was _a kid_ and the kid wanted to perform with their fire. But they would never be able to because someone would try to kill them for being a firebender.

He looked back to the kid, half hidden behind Li. They were scared, clutching at the back of Li’s robes, because Li was scared. Because he believed that Jet was going to hurt an innocent kid – that he was going to have to fight his friend to save a child he loved.

Maybe the poison of fire could be diluted by Earth, enough to be palatable.

His stomach dropped. This was a child.

And Li thought he was going to kill them.

Li had held firm as he could, all while expecting Jet to run him through for protecting the kid – for helping the kid control the ability they _couldn’t help having –_ but his hands trembled just enough that the ends of his swords shook.

He met his eyes, and saw that all-too-familiar skittishness overtake Li’s smirk at being proven right about the inherent awfulness of his life. His eyes darted for a second, before he sheathed his swords and took a step forward, one hand half behind him to push the kid off his back, to keep them from coming closer with him.

Li was past being pleased with himself for having been right not to trust Jet – _~~had he been?~~_ – and, with one of those cold-water-shock thoughts that Jet hadn’t seen in him in months, had snapped right back into the passive headspace he’d spent so long in.

It made Jet miss the anger.

“Let’s make a deal,” Li said, reaching into his sleeve to pull out… _oh, no._

Li held out Uncle’s token.

“Li, don’t…”

“You can have it - you _promised_ -”

_“No.”_

His stomach twisted.

Li was offering him Uncle’s Pai Sho token, the only connection he had left to his family, in exchange for the child’s safety from him.

***

Li stepped closer to Jet, wary of any sudden movement. Jet seemed to be in shock over something, and didn’t react when he stepped into his space.

“You said he could be Fire Nation,” Li said, grabbing Jet’s hand and forcing his fingers around the token, backing off as soon as Jet had a grip on it.

“You said he could be Fire Nation,” he repeated, “And it would be okay. So let’s just,” he took in a breath. It was much harder than the simple act should be.

Flames licked his teeth, barely hidden. His throat burned. “Let’s trade it. Please.”

Jet blinked, almost surprised. “I did say that.”

Li pulled back another step. “You _promised_ ,” he said, as if that meant anything, as if Jet had to stick to any of his promises when Li was working with a _firebender_. (Not when Li _was_ a firebender, not that Jet knew it, thank ~~Agni~~ Shu, but he knew he was Fire now, or Fire enough to cause problems, so...)

Jet didn’t _have_ to make a deal, Li knew that. But he was out of options that didn’t involve fighting and Uncle wasn’t here so he had to prioritize and at least Uncle could defend himself and _was_ actually Fire Nation.

Jet nodded. His tone was soft and soothing in the way it always was when Li was scared, but he couldn’t allow himself to calm down. Jet’s swords were sheathed right now, but Li knew how quickly he could bare them if he thought he needed to. And he thought he did.

Li had let himself pretend for so long that he’d almost forgotten that Jet wanted him dead.

“I did promise,” Jet agreed again, his eyes slightly unfocused as he thought. Li was silent for a moment, giving him his time to decide, trying to be as small and useful and unobtrusive as possible (and why had he been so _rude_ earlier? He _needs_ Jet, Jet’s his only friend, he was all he had for months and he accepted him as he was and _No, he didn’t_ … but that desperation didn’t abate). “And I meant it. Do you remember why I meant it? Why I agreed to leave him?”

Li swallowed, trying to remember his exact words from the blur of that night, unable to recall anything beyond the reassuringly ironic, _“He could be the bloody Prince of the Fire Nation…”_

His breath stuttered, and he needed a moment to get it back on track.

_Smellerbee_ had promised that. Not Jet.

Jet hadn’t promised anything.

He had nothing to bargain with.

***

Li had gone _white_. That was the opposite of what Jet had expected.

_“Li!”_

He didn’t seem to hear him. His eyes were caught far away.

He stepped forwards. Li flinched, but didn’t otherwise react.

Considering how he’d been snarling earlier, stuck on a hair-trigger, that was a very, _very,_ bad sign.

He took another step forwards, almost close enough to touch. Li held his swords in an iron grip, and he knew shaking him awake would land him with a sword in his chest. The smart thing to do would be to draw his own swords to block, but something in him recoiled at the idea of using his swords against Li, even defensively, when he was like this.

Behind Li, the kid touched his arm gently, shaking him a little when he didn’t react.

“Sifu?” the kid called, because of course Li was their _Sifu_ , the kid didn’t have any other options because they were stuck in the middle of the Earth Kingdom, where there was a _distinct_ shortage of friendly firebenders.

Li blinked, shook his head a little.

“Hey, kid?” they turned at his call. “I never caught your name last night.”

They studied him with exaggeratedly narrowed eyes, pouting ever so slightly. “Are you the guy who made Sifu Monobrow cry yesterday?”

Jet couldn’t help the twitch of his lips at the nickname, delivered so solemnly. “Does he mind you calling him that?”

The kid raised their chin, pout disappearing. “I’m allowed to call him that,” they said. “You’re not.”

Before Jet could ask, the kid pulled aside some of their curls to reveal a raised pink mark on their forehead. It was far, far smaller than Li’s, unnoticeable underneath their hair, but Jet understood the parallel.

The kid wouldn’t meet his eyes. “My mother,” they said, “wasn’t too happy when I started firebending.”

Jet refused to let himself linger on that topic, saved it for late that night when he knew he wouldn’t be sleeping anyway. “I think I made a mistake today,” he told them instead.

The kid grinned, sudden and overly bright in the dark tent, face crossed by Li’s outstretched swords. “So Sifu won’t be sad anymore? He can wake up?”

Jet nodded. “I was going to tell him,” he glanced at Li, “but I think I said something wrong.”

The kid shook Li’s arm again, more insistent this time. They bounced on their toes, apparently confident that the situation was resolved. So trusting. Despite everything, they felt _safe_ – they could barely conceive of true danger.

(He eyed their forehead, scar hidden again beneath the curls. He bet they still had nightmares sometimes, about people like him.

He bet they’d dream of him that night.)

“My name’s Jet, by the way,” Jet told them before he could get distracted again.

The kid smiled, held out a hand… then dropped it when they realised they’d have to get closer to Jet to shake with him.

(That stung, and he had no one to blame for it but himself.)

The kid smiled wider to make up for the snub. “I’m Tu.”

He noticed again their missing back tooth.

***

Li came back to himself with a jump and a cry, eyes darting to see what he’d missed when he was out. He’d blacked out on the middle of a fight, a terrible thing at the best of times… was Tu still breathing?

“You okay, Li?”

Jet stood across from him, closer now, expression calm. Tu was pressed to his side, bouncing with excitement. Alive. Their hands were steady, unafraid.

“Li.”

Jet was still here. Li’s insides were cold, his spine tingling with endless shocks of fear. Of course he was still here and Li had nothing to offer him and Tu still didn’t realise the danger and wouldn’t defend themselves even if they did and-

_Stop panicking. Fix this_.

Li took a breath to try to quell the nausea, to press against the crushing in his chest, and stepped forward, _too close too close too close_ but he had to- “I’m sorry, Jet, I can’t – I’ll find something else, okay, but _please_ -”

“I’m not gonna hurt the kid,” Jet cut him off with nonsensical words, “You say they’re Earth; they’re Earth. You say they’re a mixed firebender then – _fuck_ – that’s a nasty thing to get stuck with but I believe you.”

(“Fuck,” Tu whispered with reverence. Li glared for a half-second, forgetting himself.

Jet gave an apologetic smile.) “You know this kid,” Jet said. “And you’ve got more authority than most people on this sort of thing.” That was probably the closest he’d ever come to acknowledging the _scar_. “I trust your judgement.”

Li looked him in the eye, breath coming easier, knees weakening. “You mean it?”

It couldn’t be that easy, Jet couldn’t change his mind so quickly – he was _Earth_ , he was _stubborn_ – but Li couldn’t find any trace of deceit in his eyes.

(He was never good at sniffing out lies, but he wanted so _desperately_ to trust Jet.)

“You trust the kid. I trust your judgement,” he repeated, looking down at Tu, his expression _fond_ in a way he couldn’t fake - not with how he’d been glaring at them before. “They make you happy. That’s enough. That should have _always_ been enough and… and I’m sorry it wasn’t.” He looked back to Li. “I’ll make this up to you.”

Jet stepped forwards, hands twitching up for a second as if to touch Li, before he stepped back again, swallowing audibly.

He looked between the two of them. “I’ll let you finish your lesson.”

He turned to leave, but paused at the entrance flaps, one hand on the tent supports, glancing back, “We were planning to head out soon,” he hesitated and then, “But if you want to stay, we’ll understand.”

He left.

Li glanced down at Tu, trying to pretend Jet hadn’t dropped something he’d never thought he could have on his head.

***

Jet came back to camp with a stony expression – and without their wayward turtleduck.

“You went looking for the firebender,” Smellerbee said, tone mostly empty of judgement, though the tilt of her head was anything but friendly.

Jet slumped on his bedroll, elbows on his knees. _I’m sad_ , his body said. _And tired._

“I was looking for Li,” his mouth said. “I just happened to find the firebender.”

_Lie_ , said the tension in his shoulders.

_Half-truth_ , said the angle of his wheatless mouth.

Smellerbee narrowed her eyes slightly, then released them. _I doubt your words but trust your emotions._

Jet hadn’t lied to them, to anyone, _since.._. so he at least _believed_ what he was saying to be true. “Did you kill them?” Smellerbee asked.

“They’re Li’s kid.”

Disappointment, surprise. Anger and confusion. But not _guilt_ … not that that necessarily meant anything.

Smellerbee took in a breath and let it out. Fear. Stress. Suppressed anger.

He tapped on his hat where it sat in his lap. _“Dead.”_ Longshot leaned forwards, to say _curiosity;_ to make it into a question: _“Did you kill them?”_

Wide eyes, a full-body flinch. Hands gripping the fabric of his tunic almost tight enough to tear.

Jet looked between them. “You two don’t seem all that surprised.”

Smellerbee shrugged. _Faux indifference_. Her eyes were steely. “We guessed it was them last night,” palms flat on the ground, level tones. “Thought it best not to tell you.”

Jet stood in one aggressive motion. _Look at me!_ His shoulders said. _I’m upset!_

( _Stay away from me_ , his clenching hands said. _I want to hurt something_.)

“You let me stand there and threaten Li’s friend? He was terrified of me – again! I hadn’t seen him like that in months and you two just _let that happen?”_

Jet sat back down _and there was the guilt._

“So you _didn’t_ kill the kid?” Smellerbee asked a third time. Longshot leaned in again, repeating the question.

Jet froze, arm held out in a wide-sweeping gesture. _I’m in pain_ , his dampening eyes said. _You hurt me._

His breathing was heavy, unstable, _I don’t want to fight anymore_.

Longshot tilted his mouth for doubt, gave a slight frown for apology. Dead, he tapped again, to make, _“We weren’t sure you wouldn’t.”_

(It was faster this time, which indicated nothing. He wanted this over faster. The guilt he felt was not justified; he’d been right not to tell Jet.)

Jet swallowed for _understanding_ and looked away for _shame_.

Nearby the tent town was bustling with activity as the bards packed up to move on. A work song echoed across the open space between them, chanted by dozens of voices. A rider approached the camp, coming from out of town. (A scout perhaps? It would make sense for a group this size to keep a lookout for any Fire soldiers or other threats up ahead.) They were moving rather fast, hurriedly so.

There was no sign or sound of Li or his kid.

“It’s a shame,” Jet said eventually, eyes on the floor for _I’m guilty_ and _I’m sorry_. “For the kid. Being stuck with that. I can’t imagine dealing with that, but they…” he snorted, _this isn’t funny but could almost be_ , “They were juggling with it. Doing party tricks. They made peace with what the Fire Nation put inside them – with what they made them into.

“They’re _Earth_ ,” he said, the emphasis saying _they’re trustworthy_ and _they’re safe_. “Li trusts them and I should have trusted his judgement.”

“So what’s next?” Smellerbee asked, tension gone.

Jet looked between them _(I need your opinion)_ , his shoulders squared ( _this is important)._ “I left him to finish his lesson with the kid – you know his firebending expertise? He’s the closest thing the kid has to a teacher. It’s no wonder they’re so close.”

Smellerbee hmm-ed a happy not-quite-laugh. “I bet they’re the one that owes Li a favour – the one he doesn’t want to cache in?”

Jet nodded, eyes on the tent town. _I miss Li._ “They’ll finish up soon enough, I bet,” he said. His shoulders tightened. “But I don’t know if Li’s gonna want to come with us anymore.”

_“This place makes him happy,”_ Longshot said with a tilt towards the town and a half-smile with his eyes.

“I told him he could leave, if he wants to. He might be done with us, now.”

Smellerbee placed a hand on his arm, _support_ , opened her mouth to speak, but before she could the quiet babble from the tent town became a sudden roar.

The maybe-scout was closer now, and Longshot could just make out the dark red of their clothes, incongruous amongst the brightly coloured dancers and singers.

A Li-shaped figure stepped out of a tent, the kid following behind him. Even at their distance, it was easy to see how his skin turned white at whatever news turned the organised and cheery camp into a spider-ants’ nest.

The trio stood in unison, leaving their supplies unguarded as they raced towards the camp.

***

In the end Li was glad he’d allowed himself to become distracted by his lessons – it meant he hadn’t made a decision when the scout came.

Mika was tough. That was why she was often chosen to scout. That wasn’t to say she wasn’t a hell of a dancer and a demon whistler to boot, but there weren’t many at camp who knew defensive bending. So when Mika came back with burns up her arm, blood on her skirts and her ostrich horse screaming, that was bad enough - but when she started babbling about tanks and the avatar’s bison, his ears pricked in a strange mix of excitement and fear.

He almost collapsed at the mention of blue fire.

Li idly heard the other Freedom Fighters approaching the camp. There was no way they were ignoring whatever was happening. Li whistled for them to follow him, and made his way over to Shui.

“What direction?” he demanded without preamble.

Shui shook his head, clearly shaken by Mika’s condition. “No way, Stranger.”

“It’s my fight.”

“Knowing the tiger-bullshit you throw yourself into, I highly doubt that.”

Li tugged on his irritatingly short and long hair. He still wasn’t used to his overlong scalp and missing ponytail. “The girl,” he said. “With the tanks and the blue fire – we have a history…”

Shui raised his eyebrow in amusement and Li gagged. “Not like _that_ – I’ve decided I’m gay now, by the way – but I’ve fought her before. She’s been targeting me for a while but she isn’t expecting me right now and that gives me an advantage I can’t let slip by.”

“You’ve been missing for almost six months, Stranger, and now you want to throw yourself into a deathmatch,” Shui’s massive shoulders shrugged audibly. “You can’t blame me for wanting to keep you out of this.”

“You’d rather she gets the Avatar? And comes for me later, when I’m not prepared? When I’m alone?”

Shui pulled his hands into fists for a second, dust and small rocks swirling around his feet. Then, “If you follow Mika’s tracks, it should take you to the tank tracks.”

Li bowed and turned to leave, planning out his new goodbye for Tu, when Shui grabbed his arm, his massive hand both firm and gentle. “Are your friends going with you?”

Jet half-snorted and Li glanced over to see the three of them, packed and ready with Song behind them. Jet gave that feral smile he got sometimes, “Like _fuck_ am I letting Li go into danger alone.”

Shui let go of his arm.

***

Goodbyes with Tu had been rough. (They were _always_ rough.) It was only softened somewhat with their promise that their troupe was headed to Ba Sing Se soon as well – they were too used to being safe, and, dangerous as that was, he didn’t want them to lose that to Ba Sing Se – by the luqin they slipped into his saddlebags, and by the rumour that some of his other musician friends were on their way to Ba Sing Se already. Tu understood the crazy, _unpredictable_ , nature of his life well enough, but that never made it easier on them when he had to leave them again.

Still, it was all too easy to slide that familiar guilt back behind the barriers where he usually kept Tu, and push on with this _new_ horrible thing he had to deal with.

This new-old horrible thing called Azula, his terrible sister who would definitely out him as a firebender while she tried to kill him. (Or _worse_ , capture him.)

(Why did he bring Jet, again?)

He felt too hot. His hands were getting sweaty. That would make it hard to hold his swords.

What a strange thought - he couldn’t go fighting Azula with _swords_. She would kill him.

There was a very good chance he would die that day.

There was a near certainty that Jet would find out everything today, during the fight.

Li almost stopped in his tracks, the others giving him strange looks for his stumble. Jet looked like he wanted to say something, and Li looked away, cutting him off.

If Jet and the others found out mid-fight, it would throw them off. It could get them killed. Azula would not hesitate to take advantage of their weakness – of _them_ being _his_ weakness and _why did he let that happen?_

He was such an idiot.

He was about to lose everything. If he survived Azula somehow, his friends would surely kill him. Assuming the Avatar and his friends didn’t just do him in; even if he did get a chance to explain that he had changed, they had no reason to believe him - or forgive him.

(His chances against Azula weren’t exactly great either, but he wisely chose to not think about that.)

He glanced at Song. His Song. Faithful (stolen) Song, who followed him and nuzzled him and offered him his only companionship in the weeks between Uncle and Jet. At some point she’d become the pack-ostrich-horse for the four of them, instead of his own mount.

She was a lot faster than the Freedom Fighters, especially if he could replace the stuff they were carrying with just his weight.

They were going to find out anyway, and he couldn’t let it happen mid-fight. If they faltered they would die, simple as that. He couldn’t let that happen.

He stopped walking, taking hold of Song’s reigns to halt her. The others stopped beside him, turning in question.

Casually as he could, like the action didn’t matter, he began to unpack Song. “I need to tell you guys something,” he said, “Show you something. Before we get there.”

He placed their rations on the dusty ground, pocketed a waterskin, slipped his swords into place on his back instead of his hip. Song nickered, preening his short-long hair.

***

Jet watched Li dig through the bags, digging up whatever was so important he had to show them right now, hours away from some brutal conflict with some blue firebender who already held a grudge against Li. (This was in case he died in the battle, Jet assumed. This was his last chance to show them whatever this was. A letter? An heirloom? A plan?)

Li lifted an entire bag off the saddle, placed it on the ground without glancing inside it. Most of their stuff was on the floor and Li showed no sign of stopping.

Jet eyed their dirtying clothes with a guilty sense of annoyance. Whatever this was, it was important, their stuff didn’t matter in comparison.

(Li’s hands were shaking, and his face was pale, and he wouldn’t look over at them.)

It was _very_ important.

“So what exactly is this?” Jet asked, watching Li pull his head out of the saddlebags. Was there even anything left in there?

Li turned to them, but wouldn’t meet his eyes. “Something you need to know before we get there – you’ll find out there anyway, but I thought it’s best not to do it mid-battle so…”

Li took a deep breath and looked Jet in the eye.

There was nothing. Li exhaled.

Li was on fire.

He was _on fire!_

Jet didn’t think, he just reacted – he tackled Li, trying to smother the flames against the desert ground. Li’s eyes widened in panic and the fire didn’t go out and where was the firebender?

Li shoved him off, hard, and he collapsed on his back on the hard sand.

Li stood above him, hands wreathed in flame, light glinting off the grimace of his teeth. Catching the tears on his cheeks.

Smellerbee and Longshot were frozen above him, not reacting, even though _Li was still on fire._

Li blinked, sending another trail of tears down. “Okay.” He took a breath. “Okay.” Fire sparked in the air in front of his mouth and Jet couldn’t understand where the flames were coming from.

And then they vanished, quick as they came.

Jet scrambled up, grabbing for Li’s hands to check the damage and Li threw him off again, violent and angry and Jet understood, he _understood_ just as well as Li what fire could do to a person, but he still didn’t know where it was coming from.

He glanced at Longshot - surely he’d spotted the firebender - but it was Smellerbee beside him that recognised the real danger.

_“Li, no!”_

He turned back to Li just in time to see him throw a leg over Song’s saddle and kick her into a run. Jet gave chase immediately, not about to let Li out of sight with a rogue firebender nearby, but he couldn’t outpace an ostrich horse, especially not one that had practically been weight training, carrying all their stuff for them, now lighter than she had been in weeks.

In no time at all Li was gone.

Li, who was on fire but unharmed.

Li, who was scared even before the firebender appeared, about to tell him something that would come out in their fight against an old nemesis firebender anyway.

Li, who was mixed and knew everything about firebending, well enough to teach it to someone else.

Li, who was a swordfighter – whose family hadn’t approved of him swordfighting despite their love for violence.

Li, who had looked at him with such sadness and betrayal when he tried to put the fire out; when he attacked him for firebending.

Li, who was gone, and thought he wanted him gone.

Jet collapsed on the desert floor, nothing around for miles on the vast empty plains, watched his firebender become a spot on the horizon.

Then he stood, gathered up their things in the bags Li had left them, and started to follow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos comment subscribe to the main series azula is coming
> 
> was this what you wanted, everyone? this was a fucking huge deal for me - this is an insane size of chapter for me. I was tempted to cut it into smaller pieces to buy myself some more time but nope. you'd all been waiting long enough, i couldn't live with myself if i didn't give you all off it now.
> 
> (i don't want to be a comment annoyance but this is 3 chapters worth of content and while i don't expect 3 chapters worth of comments... pls this was exhausting to do)
> 
> im giving myself a months deadline to get the next one out. ill probably be working on something else in the meantime, but that's how long it'll be before we get the gaang and azula and some more plot happening.
> 
> (one thing that i kept thinking about while writing this that i thought i should like point out idk - even while jet is in the headspace of 'i shall murder this small child' he didn't at any point misgender them (unless there was a typo tell me if there's a typo). sometimes ill see people disagreeing with a trans person online and decide that they arent worthy of respect and so ignore their pronouns (okay there's like one contentious trans woman i like okay?) but that's not anything to do with disagreeing with that person, that's just being a transphobic asshole. i know everyone here is lovely but just. idk i felt i should say that. my psa for the day.   
> tl;dr don't misgender your mortal enemies.)
> 
> [My Tumblr](https://foiblepnoteworthy.tumblr.com/), wherein iI'l talk about my writing sometimes esp if prompted but mostly draw hybrid animals in various art styles

**Author's Note:**

> kudos comment subscribe if you want to see that cliffhanger get resolved (I'm lying)
> 
> (hello my darling regulars i love you)
> 
> commenters pls be nice to Tu they r my bby and I'm love them I'm sorry
> 
> Fun fact about the one issue i have with ao3 - i have no way to see how many people are subscribed to a series (I can only see how many people are subscribed to an individual work or to me) which means i have no idea exactly how many of you there are hanging around this series on a regular basis. I'm basically saying that the most convenient way for y'all to show support for this series does absolutely nothing for me and its v annoying because i like to have numbers. I don't want to be ranting or demanding attention so don't like feel bad or whatever if you ignore this, but a subscription to me the person (everything i write is avatar so you'd still be getting good stuff) or a comment to say that you read this regularly would actually mean the world to me.  
> edit: forgot to mention i can see if you bookmark it, so if you're the type to do that i get a number that way. 
> 
> Okay so. That's out of the way. 
> 
> Next chapter will be up in two weeks, and I promise it will not be a resolution :)
> 
> Tumblr, where i have a drawing of Li and Tu dancing and similar illustrations (and dear god how do i put illustrations on ao3 i don't get it): https://foiblepnoteworthy.tumblr.com/


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